O Whereforth Art Thy Wisdom?

August 7, 2007

Happiness Is - Vince Guaraldi Trio


Jealousy is such a strong word, but I admire those bloggers who get lots of comments posted on their entries, and I wish to earn such privilege too on my dotph blog. It's very barren here and I could use more excitement.

Desperate for attention, I decided to add my list of contacts to the friends page of my dotph blog (this can be done on the Dashboard Tab way above) so as to be able to notify-slash-annoy my friends whenever I post new entries. Alas, because of some weird technical difficulties, I couldn't export my yahoo messengers' contact to my friend's list, so I had to type each emails individually.

Doing that was not only toilsome, but also depressing. I don't often have many reasons to look at my yahoo messenger's contacts, and I wish I hadn't looked today. Frankly the amount of contacts I have on my list is just an illusion of grandeur: I'm not close to a lot of my online friends. Only a few on my list of "friends" are people who I am willing to be stuck with in the same elevator.

Is this their fault? No. That's what makes it more painful. My immediate realization is in knowing that I don't go out enough. It's not that I don't like having fun (I do), but I am so busy it's not even funny. I keep recalling that, way back in high school, I was a more outgoing person and among the most adaptable to different cliques (cliques to me are meaningless). What happened to that time? I miss those carefree moments in my life where I can sit back, relax, kick my feet up, and have long chats with friends.

So anyway, this is my most recent blog update. Did I end up annoying you with this kind of whiny contents? My apologies. I still am trying, but it's not easy to nurture positive thoughts when I live a typical twentysomething's life that I despise. I wish I could ask someone out. The world is not a playground, but having fun every now and then isn't so bad.

In the meantime, you can brighten up my day by posting comments. 


Posted by nightdreamer at 11:50 am | permalink

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