Leniency

The Ghetto (Donny Hathaway)

Yesterday's word-of-the-day from dictionary.reference.com made me pause and think, because not only was it a word that I've been searching for days, but also because it's an eerily keen commentary of the present society.

recidivism \rih-SID-uh-viz-uhm\, noun:
A tendency to lapse into a previous condition or pattern of behavior; especially, a falling back or relapse into prior criminal habits.

I am aware that absolute safety is fictional and that in every second a new risk is born. I also know that not everyone can defend against criminals, and that's why there are people trained, hired and paid to protect the public. Unfortunately, one of the many conditions that comes to mind when I think of the word "recidivism" is our country's security guards.

Whether or not the Glorietta explosion was caused by an accident or a bomb does not matter for security guards. In the next few days they will definitely be more uptight. They should, as while I'm not castigating their negligence as the root of this tragedy, I can't say they did their jobs well either.

What's funny about them is how quickly they devolve back to leniency. October 19, 2007 wasn't the first time Glorietta exploded; bombs detonated here few years ago. Whenever this happens, guards start getting very on edge, they'd thoroughly inspect everyone's packages and they'd bring along bomb-sniffing dogs. Give it a couple of months and they're back to lax - dipping drumsticks, chatting while "inspecting", touching the outside of pockets (or sometimes touching dubiously close to your privates), or flat-out ignoring you. Honestly, a preschooler could teach a bomber how to bypass these morons.

As an example, I'm not saying the condominium where I live is as important as Glorietta, but just last Sunday (and this was just two days after the Glorietta) I came home only to find that the building guards have all fallen asleep. With all the media disseminating reports of Glorietta, you would think that they'd be less lazy for a few days. But they aren't, which is sad, because if this is any indication of the state Makati security guards will fall back to, then all the casualties (such as this) will be in vain.

Please don't let this tragedy repeat.

It’s teatime. Survey today.

74 new questions you’ve NEVER been asked

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Chest. Gotta keep it shiny!

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Huh, I don't know. I'm not sure if I have one (there are jackets in my wardrobe that I've not worn yet, since I've not found the suitable occasion.

3. Do you like coffee?
Yes. Filled to the brim with darkness deeper than night, with bitterness hotter than the depths of hell - that's coffee.

4. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
I'm tired but nervous. A really bad combination..

5.What made you write this bulletin?
Boredom

6. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
Aim. I like it concise.

7. Where are you?
Behind you.

8. Could you eat your favorite food everyday for a month and not get sick of it?
I could spend the rest of my life eating fresh spinach and not grow sick of it. Believe me, I tried eating spinach for days and I still love it.

9. What are you craving?
I want to eat Spaghetti with Tomato Sauce so bad.

10. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Your mom.

11. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I was trying to think of how many people I've bothered. I came close.

12. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
How about giving me an ice cream and I'll show you?

13. Do you use smileys?
No.

14. How many bedrooms are in your house?
Three

15. Have you ever met a celebrity?
I saw Riza Santos last week. Didn't really plan it, she just happened to be there.

16. Do you like cottage cheese?
Sure

17. What's the last song you had stuck in your head?
See my previous entry.

18. Favorite place to be?
That kind of personalized entity we all have when we close our eyes. I like that place, because that's where I'm truly free.

19. Are your parent(s) strict?
Sometimes.

20: would you go sky diving?
Me wants!

21. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Yep, and I'm sure to order a combo of Nuke Sandwich and Oil Shake.

23. Do you rent movies?
Rarely.

25. Where are you going to be Saturday night?
Home.

26. Brown or white eggs?
White perhaps.

28. Ever taken a train?
I often do when I'm in Taiwan.

30. Is anyone in your family famous?
My sis appeared on NY Times a few times, met Hilary Clinton, and communicated with P. Diddy, Jay-z, Wynton Marsalis and Wyclef Jean. So if she's not famous, she's probably close to it.

31. What day of the week is it?
Friday

32. What was your Lunch?
Sandwich

33. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
I don't know. Working, perhaps.

34 Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
No.

35. So, how about them Yankees?
I don't watch MLB.

38. Last time you cried?
Long ago.

39. Ever walked into a wall?
I walk through them!

40. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
Pacific Sun? I used to buy their Ice Teas.

41. Favorite season?
Fall. I love autumn leaves.

42. The next person you'll hold hands with?
I don't know.

43. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Nope. I never can sleep with a TV on except if it's the TV on a bus.

44. Have you ever drank alcohol straight from the bottle?
Yep

45. Do you think you're old?
Compared to what?

46. Are you afraid of the dark?
Humans are all afraid of the dark, yet at the same time bewitched by it. Maybe that's why we like the darkness that is coffee.

Oh, all right. No. 

47. Do you like your life right now?
Mostly, yeah, but I could use a pasta.

48. When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
Looooong ago.

50. Do you have good vision?
No. I should be wearing glasses but I just don't.

53. Worst thing that happened today?
None. Today's pretty good.

54. When is your next road trip?
I don't know yet.

55. Have you ever crawled through a window?
The burglar alarm didn't set off after all!

56. Can you handle truth?
Can you? I prefer hard truths than cotton-candy delusions.

57. What was the most recent thing you bought?
A book.

58. How often do you talk on the phone?
If you mean having long conversations on a phone, probably around once or twice per month.

59. Are you in a complicated relationship?
All relationships are complicated!

60. Do you hate more than 3 people?
Yes! I HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYONE! YOU GUYS SUCK!

Now please gimme an ice cream.

61. Have you ever tripped someone?
No. I did far nastier. I pulled the chair away while he wasn't looking.

62. Have you ever slapped someone?
Your mom

63. Do you read?
No I playz Halo R0xx0rz lol!

64. Do you use chap stick?
Tried, hated how that felt.

65. Are you forgiving?
You suck!

err, the obligatory missing number? 

67. Do you own a gun?
No

68. Have you made a prank phone call?
I pranked prank phoners.

69. Have you ever been in a castle?
No but I really want to

71. Do you love yourself?
Haha

72. Are you closer to your mother or father?
Equal

73. Do you chat on AIM often?
No. I use YM.

74. Whats the closest thing to you thats red?
Red herring.

Need Piddling Help

It's Your World (Gil Scott-Heron & Brian Jackson)

Hey all.

In my web design course (I'm currently taking up their Dreamweaver subject) I was asked to create an architectural web page with a testimonial section.

I do not want to make the testimonials overly reverent or ultra-serious like those stone-faced actors of Jumong. Who needs that? I don't, especially since I'm creating a portfolio site of a German architect, Schufer Mann, who is merely a product of my screwed-up imagination. I'm skewing towards testimonials that are hilarious, ridiculous and puns-decorated. I also happen to be busy with other jobs, so if anyone could submit the kind of testimonials that I'm looking for, I promise to give you many thank-yous and I might give you something awesome if we end up meeting personally. ^_^

Here are some of the sample testimonials:

"Schufer Mann possesses visions envied by superheroes." - Tess T. Moni, Italian Designer

"Redefines postmodernism and turns avant-garde to savant-garde." - Eddy Oth, receipient of 2007's Nobull Prize

"I said it too many times, but he's a genius, genius, genius!" - Redd un Danci, CEO of Reap It Consultants

"His architects turn my life around, from 'oh dear' to 'oh great!'" - Aina Kho, society pages editor of Daily Dally

"That's hot!" - Aries Hilton, MENSA member

"He could create a wonderland where the rest of the world is Dorothy." - Booker Kristic, book critic

"He's capable of creating a Petronas in a single stroke!" Sir Price N. G. Lee, editor of Oh! Very State! magazine

"My man's the shiznit, dawg!" - Tuk Strit, Rapper of Straight Outta Tondo 

Anything else you'd like to add? The comment box is open.

Lady Misfortune

Deep Night - Sonny Clark

Today’s entry won’t be like everyday else’s. There won’t be a fancy pretentious opening statement, no pseudo-poetry or some kinda Quixotic phrasings ripped straight from the lyrics of a jazz standard (oh all right, I’m taking a shot at Murakami. Heh. His Wind-Up Bird Chronicle is riveting). I’m doing none of that, because I’m weary. Nay, that’s inadequate. It’s more like I’m punch-drunk with tandems of bad lucks that do not want to end.

Series of unfortunate events do have a beginning (heh). Mine began last Tuesday as I tried to finish the final book of Harry Potter within two nights. I succeeded in that, while also realizing that the book was a dud. Just imagine the stupidity.

Actually, my anger with the series’ denouement was the least of my troubles. Since I spent a week not getting enough sleep, I became groggier, until I contracted cold and fever. Makes sense - the Pottermania fever must pass after all.

I had planned to spend the weekend going out with someone. And by some weird whirlwind of events, it was my ex-crush who agreed to go out with me. The day came, and I met her, accompanied by two of our former classmates. One is actually her girl cousin, the other is a guy who's been their kith for a very long time. (For the sake of anonymity, I'm going to assign them pseudonyms. Trish is the ex-crush. Daisy is the cousin. Chad is the guy).

I haven't seen any of them in ages, so I was delighted that we could all meet up. I've never been a close friend of Trish, and I was happy that I was given this chance to reconnect with her. I no longer want to be her lover, but we can always be just friends, right? To be honest, everyone (including Daisy and Chad) from my school knew that I liked Trish. I courted her for two years, but was stymied by how aloof she was to me. We hardly talked to each other, and when we did, our exchanges rarely lasted for more than two minutes. Realizing the futility, I eventually quitted. This was back in the high-school days. Eventually, another guy (pseudonym: Kurt) ended up becoming her boyfriend.

It's been more than 7 years since.

The first hour of our meeting was okay. We were catching up. We updated each other on how we and few of our other classmates are. Although nowhere near as animated as an exchange between Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker, this was better than my “conversations” with Trish from way back.

Trish also frequently asked Chad about her ex-boyfriend, since they were close friends - she hasn't let go. This was also why she and Chad started doing something very annoying. They would whisper amongst themselves. And when that's impossible, they would refer to the ex as “ghost” (0f course this is about Kurt. What kind of dumbass do they take me for anyway?). It was clear that they were deliberately keeping me in the dark (I'm sure of it. Her cousin, Daisy, knew all about it herself, though she didn't participate in the discussion quite as much). Not wanting to pry into matters they clearly don't want me involved in, I had no choice but to play dumb and be quiet.

What I find bewildering is why they keep doing these today. I don't mind not knowing a secret but if they don't want to let me in on it, was talking about it on this very day so important? They see each other all the time, I haven't seen them in five years, so why should they keep doing that? Didn't they realize just how rude they were?

Did they also think that I was dense, that I couldn't figure out who this “ghost” is? Paris Hilton could've deduced their “secrets”!

I had better time with Daisy, who also wasn't my close friend. Unlike Trish, Daisy made conscious efforts to strike conversations with me, perhaps realizing that the rest of them were making me – and perhaps herself - out of place. She was fun and was more endearing than Trish. Ironically, we ended up splitting into two groups and traveling separately. Chad and Trish still talked about Kurt while the rest of us secretly schemed to get Trish her birthday gift - it was Daisy's idea and I didn't resist it. What's ridiculous is that I paid for a birthday cake and a gift. Talk about foolish sacrifice that don't amount to jack squat. See that, Trish, I'm totally caring for you while you and Chad douche around about Kurt! Ain't life grand?

We parted ways and I came away with few realizations. No matter what I do, Trish is one bridge that I can never never cross. I stopped courting her for precisely that reason, and what has she learned all these years, that it's still ok to treat me like a steaming pile of garbage? As for Chad, I'm disappointed at him. Chad and I actually saw each other 3 years ago, and it was very cool hanging out with him, which makes it baffling why became a royal jerk today. I didn't meet Kurt, but if this is the kind of Trish he ended the relationship with, I give him my congratulations. Now for Daisy, I am thankful for her attempts to prevent this outing from becoming a total disaster for me. It actually was, but like anodyne, Daisy made the pains more sufferable.

In retrospect, I really should have just gone out with Daisy alone, so that the rest of them can spend quality alone time worshipping Kurt.

Oh, so you think my tirades have ended? You're naïve.

After the outing, I felt iller. And so I spent the rest of the weekend lying on bed, recuperating.

And although I haven't fully recovered, I went to the office a while ago. Now this is like a normal Monday and everybody knows Monday is a worker's most dreaded day, so it may be pretty normal for everyone not to be in high spirits. That wasn't my problem.

My problem is our office's pest control, which blows, quite frankly. I am in no way exaggerating this, but throughout the day, over fifty tiny little roaches crawled on my table. My coworkers also had the same problem. And take note, we also used to have a watercooler that doubled as a swimming pool for these cute little critters. So I took the initiative to tell “the mistress” this problem. But instead of offering me any assistance, she was so willing to blindly defend my company's cleanliness by enlightening me with an “acerbically witty” (i.e. sarcastic) comment on how I'm not cleaning my table. Err, I hope she notices that I rarely put any food on my desk, and why she chose to scold me while ignoring the gluttonous bunch who eat during work is a mystery Stephen Hawking and Sherlock Holmes combined couldn't solve (well, actually they could. An infant could. Try “theory of favoritism”.) I'm not even asking her to become a house-maid and that she should wear aprons and wipe tables. All I'm doing is reporting to her, hoping that she would contact a Pest Control Service. So why did she have to resort to cheap retorts? Did I need that? If sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, hers is definitely the nadir of it. Would it kill her to actually do something while shutting her trap?

And this ends the short accounts of the last five days. Have my series of bad luck ended? I don't know, but nothing has been done about my table yet.

Office Variables

Step In The Arena - Gang Starr

Sometimes, the status messages of your friends from Yahoo Messenger can be very insightful. I should know, because people commend my status messages like that.

I don't think they're joking either.

Kidding and (mock) bragging aside, today's insightful message came from one of the brilliant minds from my batch. Dan Dizon, in particular. He was a very influential student and has been elected the student council president for the College of Engineer. He is now taking his masters degree at Berkeley. Needless to say, his status message often contains sharp observations and is laced with dark humor. (Note to Dan: please send me money for being your endorser. You're rich anyway.)

His status message read, "If the company pays you x, you are worth 10x. That's business."

I'm very sorry to tell you, Dan, but I disagree. Although I am not honored with farce and flabulous fierce and fabulous writer Malu Fernandez's "acerbic tit wit", my observations is better than your observations!

Behold, my Phoenix Bites Tiger Ass kung fu technique!

• if a company pays you x, you're actually worth y. Not the same, but you bet y > x.
• When in conference room, however, your boss is worth Z. Meaning, nakakaantok (translation: yawn-worthy).
• During overtimes when only a boy and a girl remains in the company, the office is worth X to the power of 3.

[Dan interrupts: Brilliant, Jou!]

Nah. More like, ass-like.

Resuming…

• When you're absent, you're worth 1/x where x is an integer. The rest of the company will spend their watercooler/lunch breaks speaking ill of every absent colleagues.
• Your contract is worth 0 (zero) if you work in a country whose legal system is as efficient as my country's.
• A Starbucks coffee most likely costs more than X. So save money, dammit!
• That's business!
• "That's business" is worth infinite. Above the law. Barbie toys have leads? That's business. Tim Yap condones hedonism? That's business. Recto certificates? That's business. Tasaday? ZTE? Iraq War? Paris Hilton? That's… well, you do the math.

Boredompalooza

Q: Do birds have hands? No? I wonder then why they sing "Why do birds suddenly APIR?"

:P

Few things I did while I was bored (click pictures to enlarge):