About FGD (edited and cleaned)

I'm not in the position to disclose the details, but for those of you who blog with i.ph, you will get a fat list of new features coming very soon.

How do I know this? I participated in i.ph's FGD yesterday. Heck if I remember what that acronym stood for. I was among those who were invited to join this discussion, where the big boss of i.ph would present some new features and ask for our comments or ideas. We were so cordial to each other that it's like we were some hippies high-5-ing and weed-sharing at Washington Square. Of being treated like this, I felt so privileged, and I…

Oh, has everyone left the building?

*Deep breathes*

Dammit, I'll be honest. I don't know if wits (he was beside me) or Peter Juan (the big boss) noticed, but I was in such a nervous wreck! The entire time! Look, there I was, side by side with bloggers who know, write and smile better than I do (# # # # # # - I need to verify some of the other attendees's links). Compared to them I was like a troglodyte spending the first night in the city. I looked very silly being offered the same privilege as them when, writing-proficiency speaking, I wasn't even among their peers. And their toothbrushes were better than mine too. I don't even think I'm that good of a writer to begin with, and my being there felt like having Bob Ong sit besides Toni Morrison, Orhan Pamuk, and Alice Walker on a press-con. Have you ever felt guilty of being treated like a VIP along with people who deserved it FAR MORE?

Take a gander at my blog. (yeah ok so this really is a moronic come-over statement of epic proportions, because how the hell could anyone have read this far without having already taken a "gander" at my blog? It's like coordinating a game where you start with "want to play a game?" followed by "let’s play a game" before announcing the mechanics. I mean what the heck stop wasting our time and get to the point already. Kind of like what I'm not doing now. And I'm certain that you've already forgotten the statement that came before all these parenthetical junk [what, you're back-reading? Cheater…] but I like seeing your confused face so haha. Anyway, do you think that starting with 'take a gander at my blog' is incredibly dumb too? Yeah? Agree? *High fives*.) How could I even compare to the whole lot of everyone in my dope list? (Yeah, I probably wrote longer parenthetical statements than they ever did, so cue the dumb-smuggery [sounds a lot like “douchebaggery”].)

You know how it felt to be nervous? It was like being transported to another planet with capricious gravity (now that's an idea I like. Wistful me: "Please gravity be light now, so I can dunk like Josh Smith!"). Then I'd be itchy in an unknown region, and I would try to locate the source of itch by scratching random parts of my feet/legs/palms/elbows but I wouldn't feel the itch leaving nor the pain coming even if my skins were already reddish.There was also the trademark hands-shaking and eyesights-fading.

I did enjoy the FGD, but not to the extent that I hoped. That really wasn't anyone's fault but mine, because although it was a very enlightening event, I had been uneasy all throughout that when it ended I kept telling Ley (she works there) that I was so nervous, but she only shot me back this "what pot is he smoking" look because I didn't appear nervous. My God if only she knew how I felt, um, with being among that roomful of better writers.

So anyway, if you blog with i.ph you'll be having a slew of new features in the not-so-distant future. And if you've read this pointless post up to this point (groans of "not again" heard from crowd) you'd also know that my self-esteem had taken a nosedive. Yeah, dotPH will improve. My writing skills need to too so, you know what, I'm going to sharpen my pencils and wipe clean my reading glasses.

They will be useful this Christmas.