Time-waster

I don’t have the stats, but I think the majority of my readers will have a few vacation days. Am I correct? 

Some of us (yeah, that includes me) will be spending theirs traveling at a foreign land, but others won’t be that busy. In fact, it’s entirely possible that because of many days of not working or studying, you might get bored and be at a loss in finding something that's fun doing. 

I have one suggestion: Paper-folding. 

Yes, paper-folding, or better known in Japanese as Origami. It’s my first love, and I found it at an age when papers were more appealing than girls. 

You know, I don’t think that’s very implausible for older people. We have all kinds of men's magazines everywhere these days, but have you ever seen their models in person? Are they really that attractive, or have their appearances been doctored by Photoshophile pricks? Anyone heard of the so-called Angelica Panganiban scandal? (Frankly I still don't understand why a lot are splitting hairs on that issue) Yeah it's entirely possible for people to drool on all these photos but not on the photoed actual self.

Thank goodness I was eventually struck with puberty. It's better to be frustrated of not having a girlfriend that to be frustrated of not having a paper friend.

But let's talk about paper today. What, you want me to talk about girls instead and offer you suggestions on what you should be doing with them? I'm not a ladies' man! And if that's who you want you should go read somebody else's blog, like those of real pimps or those of some stupid ass "trying to be cool" epal guys who think they're so pimp-ish. Believe me, a lot of people belong in that latter category. But this is where it ends; no more talking about the human condition. Subject: real papers, not people who are like papers.

So then, Origami. I'm going to show you the overview of the craft. It's quite easy to get into, and it isn't terribly expensive, effort-wasting or time-consuming. The good news is that the fun starts even in just making the basic projects, like the paper boat or the paper plane. I think everyone and their moms know how to do something like this:

Pretty simple, innit? You can substitute your rubber ducky with a paper boat when you dip into your jacuzzi while pondering the science of buoyancy. Meh. Science is boring. So, instead, watch the boat in amazement because it floats exactly as long as a relationship from high school. Quite humdrum? Maybe, but did you know about tearing the head and the tips of the boat? Try it, and you'll get:

That's right, a shirt! So step aside Ben Chua you've just met your match! Too bad it won't fit even the most anorexic supermodel, but you can dress your chihuahua up with this paper-ish trash if that floats your, um, paper boat. 

If in case you find yourself stuck in the room with noisy 5 year-olds who keep bugging you to entertain them, you may want to try folding a paper plane. 

You're well aware that you can throw paper planes and let them glide, right? Try going to high-rise buildings, then glide these planes all the way down to the ground level (uh, make sure you go right down to clean up your mess too, okay?) Wonderful sight, the joy of flying, like cottons dancing with the lissome breeze. Write what you saw and, congratulations, you've finished the reaction paper of Jonathan Livingston's Seagull!

With both paper boats and planes, you use rectangular papers. Normal papers, that is. Unfortunately for a greater majority of other projects, you need equilateral papers. So unless you can buy squared papers or memo pads (which could be too small for some Origami projects) expect to be doing this a lot:

You'll be doing that so much that you'll curse the human race. I mean, geez, how many trees could we have saved if more papers were squared instead of rectangular? For all the science we obsess ourselves with, why are we so incapable of making the most pragmatic decisions? It's about time we evolve and MAKE THOSE PAPERS SQUARE! HURRY, THE EVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED! Anyhoo, the remaining rectangular strip is rather problematic, as there aren't a lot of projects that looks good with something of that size and proportion. There's one that I know of, and it looks like this:

It's supposed to be a spaceship. Star Trek-ish or F-Zero-y. It looks quite cool at the first glance, but if you keep making that, passersby will think that you're a gigantic nerdbag, kind of like what happens when you go to the beach and people see you reading a sci-fi/fantasy book with all these dragons, dwarves and bikini-clad witches at the cover.

Moving on, let me introduce you to the Crane.

Now heed this: every self-respecting origami enthusiasts MUST know how to make a crane, just like how every pianist must learn Czerny. It's not just because most of origami's basic folds are included in making a crane. It's also because the crane is culturally significant. In Japan, paper cranes are believed to be lucky charms. They are connected by a thread and hanged on the doorstep.

Crane-making is also addicting. Some people only learn how to make that without trying other origami projects. My sister's an example. Just go to her room and you'll find this:

Yeah, so the next time you give her memo pads, you might as well sing, "Why to cranes suddenly appear…"

I advise you not to be stuck with cranes. There are a lot of other origami projects that give beautiful results. Like the peacock, for example:

Some of them are even practical, like the box:

You can use it as a mini trash box or ash tray or something to hold your spit or booger. Speaking of which, I just remembered walking past a jerk who spat on the ground. He just nearly hit my shoe, and I was pissed off to the extent that I wanted to kick him in the face (uh, he's short, that explains my confidence). Good Lord what is it with the manner of some people? I hope he goes to Singapore soon.

How about something complexly designed?

I don't even know what that is, but I find it attractive. Kind of like girls. I don't even know what they are, and yet I want to marry one of them. 

And this one's incredibly fun:

When you blow it at one end, it will inflate into:

Now how cool is that, you JUST MADE YOURSELF A MIRIAM DEFENSOR SANTIAGO'S BALL!

So anyway, if you want to learn origami, you can go to your nearest bookstore to buy some art papers and buy an origami instruction book. But they're not required. As long as you have an internet connection and a few paper, you can always google for some origami sites where you'll find instructions for a lot of project.

Have fun!

Silly IM Conversations

nightdreamer: yo nessy!

nessy: yo homeyslice!

nightdreamer: watchoo callin' me homeyslice fo'?

shrugging_lady: my pregnant dog went out!

nightdreamer: well, eloping dogs sound like an awesome plot device to me

nightdreamer: "While You Were Barking", starring Kennel Reeves

nightdreamer: err, apparently a better thespian than Keanu.

nightdreamer: Donald Duck with unnecessary zippers?

nightdreamer: Gothic Mickey Mouse(tm)?

blue_galaxy: Heh, he was intense

nightdreamer: What next? Goofy with angel wings?

nightdreamer: Daisy Duck with a jaded past ?

blue_galaxy: one winged angel goofy

blue_galaxy: hooker with a heart of gold daisy

nightdreamer: or Jiminy Cricket with 3 eyes

nightdreamer: sheesh, no one respects our childhood anymore

blue_galaxy: heh, so true

nightdreamer: The Americans ruined Looney Toons. The Japanese ruined Disney

nightdreamer: I can't wait for the British to ruin Hanna Barbera then

blue_galaxy: heh

nightdreamer: Bring on the Tom and Jerry with MOSHPITS and INDIE ROCK! 

nightdreamer: you know what would be cool?

nightdreamer: what if one of the harry potter characters were actually gay?

nightdreamer: you know, embracing diversity and all?

guile_sonicboom: err, I'd rather not see that happen

(note: this conversation was made before Deathly Hallows was released. When nightdreamer learned that Dumbledore is gay he had goosebumps.) 

captnlovbuns: i don't do nice things

nightdreamer: yeah, I've had it! From now on I will be a BAD DUDE!

captnlovbuns: bad enough to rescue the president?

nightdreamer: Yes!

nightdreamer: Pass the cocaine.

captnlovbuns: on its way. 

nightdreamer: HADOKEN! <O 

nightdreamer: pogi ako!

nightdreamer: jack and poy tayo. ang panalo, pogi!

nightdreamer: jack and poy!

masterlopez: o< (scissors)

nightdreamer: o (rock)

nightdreamer: yay panalo ako! 

** office lights off **

masterlopez: what was that about?

** office lights on after 5 minutes **

nightdreamer: ho-kay

nightdreamer: so, is someone having this "close the lights at mag-reflect-tayo" session that is common among religious seminars? 

nightdreamer: geez I really hated that Voldemort vs. Harry Potter scene in DH

pingpong: why? I thought it was okay?

nightdreamer: I thought it was really anticlimactic? Can you believe it, their dialogues? It's like a WWE trash talk! 

mike_tight: do birds have hands?

nightdreamer: huh of course they don't!

mike_tight: then why do we sing "Why do birds suddenly APIR"?

* nightdreamer facepalms * 

johnwilsonmotors: But to be fair, they're probably only shopping together because it's convenient

nightdreamer: sheesh johnwilsonmotors, your mind is too pure. Can't you dirty it up a little more? 

richard_blues: (speaking from America) dito sa tabi ng bahay namin, may pinoy na sando at pajamas lang ang suot, kahit malamig sa labas

nightdreamer: sheesh epal naman nun

nightdreamer: Kung sa America nagpapajama sila, but when they go to Manila's starbucks they wear jackets?