Daily Dose of Geek Mythology

Anyone who has seen fantasy movies, played fantasy games, and read fantasy books may be familiar with a handful of fantasy creatures.

There’s a well-known one that has been introduced since Homer’s Iliad. It’s the chimera. Though its appearance have been altered by the various fictions, its primordial form looks like this:

It has the head of a lion, the legs of a goat, and a snake’s upper body as its tail. And, err, the bat wing is extraneous. Chimera from The Iliad doesn’t have wings.

[The artwork uses this as reference].

Would you believe that certain types of chimera exist? Oh yes, you only have to be in the right country to see one. Filipinos are seeing one on TV everyday. They see a kind of chimera that has the tongue of a snake, the body [and stickiness and sliminess] of a slug, the horn of any terrible mythological creature, the snout of a pig, and the face of a president.

The Glomeria.

I think it’s time we crane her out, eh?

And yes, this is my blogswarm. I still hate that word, though. 

Improvisations

I started this post with one goal, and that’s to say something random. It’s then that I knew that I’m not so good at doing these write-anything’s. Yes, this first paragraph is identical to my previous post’s, and you’re about to read what I was originally trying to say before someone gave me a dose of facepalms.

There is one word that came to mind when I was insisting on a random topic: writer.

Writer is what the dictionary defines as either: 1. someone who writes professionaly, or 2. a person who is able to write and has written something.

I do not use those two qualities to describe myself. I don’t consider myself a writer and I’m not under the illusion of being able to write. Perhaps my confession may come off as strange to some, seeing that I update my blog often, but it’s true that I find myself lacking possession of what makes someone a writer.

I do not believe in most of the braggadocios I toss around. I also do not believe that a person can claim to be a writer just for doing blogs. See, there’s a disturbing trend of bloggers becoming too full of themselves when their blogs find a considerable readership. That’s great if all it requires for a blog to excel in readability is if it’s popular, but popularity has never been related to quality. That’s a truth most of the popular bloggers gloss over, so instead of having an accurate gauge of their skills they throw their fists in the air believing they’re John Steinbeck. The result? Embarassing chest-thumping from someone with a ghastly lack of creative prowess.

Let’s not fall into that trap, please. We should know of the danger smugness can do to an aspiring writer - actually, to a person aspiring anything. Smug means excessive complacency or self satisfaction, and when you’re smug about your writing, you’re going to look down instead of up. Imagine that you’re on a stairway where the floors represent writing proficiencies. If you do not look up then how will you climb and reach a higher level? I don’t know if that made sense, but whatever. All I’m saying is, you wouldn’t be motivated to improve if you’re self satisfied.

So if I’m admitting that I suck, what’s my business with this "writing" thing then? To that, I give a circuitous answer: would you believe that I tend to love doing what I’m bad at, but care little about what I am good at? Maybe that has to do with why I fall in love with girls who are unavailable or out of my league, but not with girls who are single and have shown interest in me. Eh, let’s ignore that previous sentence. I’m good at calculating, doing technical papers, programming and creating presentations, but I wouldn’t do them without getting paid. I suck at piano playing, drawing, writing and reviewing films/music/books, but I would gladly lose sleep just doing them, just like now as I’m doing this post. Oh snap!

With this thing called writing, I will never stop chasing it the same way as our administration will never stop making up lame excuses for their corrupt deeds. Because of my love of writing I am lost in books, often abandoning real world and imagining my own. Because of my love of writing I read and reread Elements of Style. Because of my love of writing I perceive smugness as the most perverted sin. Because of my love of writing I often lose time for much else. I know I suck, and that’s why I always look for ways to suck less. And even if that puts me out of touch with people, it makes me do something better than those with an active social life.

Communicating.

I will call myself a writer once I'’ve become good at improvising. How does that work? It’s when you can give me just one word and, without much pause, I’ll be able to say many things about it, and without much preparation create beautiful works. Yeah, just like the free-flowing music. Just like jazz.

This is just so… pointless, really. But, read it anyway.

Ok, I started this post with one goal, and that’s to write something random. This is when it dawned on me that I’m not good at doing these write-anything’s, so I bugged some of my y!m chatmates to aid me in my desperate search for ideas. Like, "hey, hey, inspire me with something please!"

One friend asked, "Where can you find a dog with no feet!"

And this is me feeling oh-so-wise, "Dog with no feet? Oh that’s so friggin easy. Just look at the senate, all bark and no walk!"

Friend replied, "Bleh, wrong answer."

"All right, I give up." 

"Where you left it!"

"Huh, I don’t get it OMG" 

"What the hell, since the dog has no feet, you’ll find it wherever you left it since it can’t walk."

Palm. Face.

You’ve Got A Friend

Hey, have you heard of that song "You’ve Got A Friend" by James Taylor?

James Taylor - You’ve Got A Friend

Yes, well, guess what? Step aside Carole King and let me show you my lyrical prowess! Here’s my version of the song!

"When ur PWNd,
And ROFLd,
And j00 need some tag and meme.
And blogging, ooh blogging ain’t going r1te
Close ur tabs and click to me
And soon I will be der
2 w00t and up,
Even on rapidshare" 

"U juz answer my meme,
And, u knw, my AIM,
Il come buzzing,
2 c u again, 
Winter spring summer and fall
All u gotta do is LOL
And il b dr
j00 got a fren." 

GMA TV Ads Mockery Part 2

The sequel to this, of course. The third one for this week, oh good grief. I must be bored stiff!

Sorry but I couldn’t find the youtube videos again. Gosh I suck at youtube-hunting. You’ll get the most of this post if you’re frequently tuned to GMA TV.

Head and Shoulders

Annoying girlfriend takes away the pillow propping the boyfriend’s head. She is about to slam him with the pillow but then she notices that it emanates a fragrance, which is the smell permeating from his hair. This demonstrates that celebrities are so flawless they don’t drool on bedsheets even if their call time is erratic. Is that what you call a haircut? It looks like the workings of an incompetent gay señorita.

Pantene

Can’t Pantene ever find an intelligent endorser for once? It’s another Kris Aquino ad, in the millions. Kris Aquino is like Rachel Ray, except louder, more effusive and more trying-hard-to-be-promiscuous, yet she’s ultra popular because she’s the ex-president’s daughter, making her an instant hit among idiots everywhere. I abominate her and the only thing I like about her ads is the ease to poke holes on what she says. Remember, she has another Pantene ad where she says she has time for the only thing that matter - her son - only after she’s done with her hair. Her hair! Before this, she says "When people say I look 20 something, I say, more like 30 something pa siguro". When people say you act 15 something, you should say more like 5 something.

So what’s with the new ad? She worries the rain might damage her hair, like "zomgz d con3 is in shambles and ur out der worrying bout ur hair coz 8’s a big deal if ur hair is a bit 2sled. Wai!" I believe she invented lolkittynesse. After she uses Pantene, she says "Rain or shine, I’m UNBREAKABLE". Well, lollerz, what was it about Joey Marquez’s "rain" that made her cry and cry "STD" then?

Gago Macapagal’s Advertisement 

IN WHICH GMA says our minimum wages can buy everything we need. 

*cough* Tondo *cough* 

Here in Nightdreamer, you can have EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGES of becoming telepathic and scanning GMA’s train of thoughts upon making this ad: 

“hey, pilipinos are against me? can’t they see the economy is booming? can’t they see the economy is booming? can’t they see the economy is booming? [Oo na GMA!] let’s make them believe i’m good again, by broadcasting a hastily put powerpoint presentation done by someone with no layout knowledge. and put a techno music in there, kids love the techno.” 

All delivered in her signature soulless gnaw-ish voice, because even her thoughts are devoid of soul. I’m not even talking about soul as in spirit; I’m talking about the soul of music, the putting of your heart into the singing. So of course she has to hire a male teleprompter with voice as soulless as hers to do the teleprompting, by doing nothing but reading what was already written on screen, futher implying that Filipinos can’t read. And, hey, let’s solve the illiteracy by broadband education, right?

I refuse to capitalize the thing she says. 

Clear Black Valentine

See the earth shattering youtube video here.

Just what is it with Clear and its fancy pants endorsers anyway? Here we have trite ass dark cupid Piolo Pascual, who is the minister of fancypantism, shooting fancy pants arrows turning reddish things into “kewl” blacks. Wow the tacked on CGI angel wings couldn’t synchronize its flapping with the owner’s movements. Always delights me to predict the producer’s idea of creativity, which is like “black clothes, black cars, bows and angel wings? Instant COOLERSKATERZ moment for the morons!”

The Love Post

A mushy post, from this angst-y guy?! Before you find yourself unable to comprehend why I’m writing this, and before you go hit the back button, hear me:

This is another past-story post.

Yeah, I know, I’ve been overdoing the retrospection. My Feb’s not fab unlike the past few days in New Orleans, but more fab than GMA’s devoid-of-funk speeches. I’m so bored to the point of reading my old blog, rewriting them, and posting them on this blog for the first time. I know, I know, get off me; I wouldn’t be doing this have I a social life. Anyway, this will be bittersweet - that means some bitterness will counteract with the supposed sweetness you get when you hear "love", and that means you’re going to get through this without needing to visit the dentist. I hope.

I’m starting to believe that my disdain for Murakami may be because his protagonists remind me of me. In a fitting homage to his books, why don’t we put a beautiful jazz song before we go?

My Little Brown Book (Duke Ellington and John Coltrane)

Note that I combined my past post with something recent, so this isn’t verbatim of what I wrote 3 years ago.

There’s this girl, who I’ll call Lanie. She ran for student council, and the first image I saw of her was from a campaign tarpaulin. She instantly reminded me of another girl I had been very attracted to. Doesn’t help (hurt?) that they share the same uncommon surname.

I was like “Wow, cute! I wonder how she looks in real life” but that was it. I wasn’t expecting anything else because pictures tend to depict real appearances inaccurately. I even added her in Friendster, for whatever reason. This was 2004 after all when everyone went around adding people they haven’t met, to realize later that they’ve been adding douches. That last word is my bitter touch, yo! It gives this post edge!

I’ll be a little anachronistic here: she’s been appearing on my dreams since I have first seen the tarp, at the most haphazard times. I haven’t seen her for years now but she doesn’t miss the casting call when people audition for my dreams, and I just reckon that I said the gayest phrase. Audition for my dreams? What weed did I smoke when I wrote that? The only thing more peculiar than the dreams with her appearances is my remembering their details. The first one had me on a fictional school, practicing piano while she wasn’t noticing. One month after, this dream had a sequel where I was on a recital on the same fictional school, and she came close and smiled at me. Both of them were strange because I never was a piano virtuoso. Almost a year passed, I dreamed of her jogging at Central Park; with her back turned on me I was trying to chase her all the time while countering the heavy force on my feet. I woke up with blisters on my feet the next morning, at my sister’s apartment in Manhattan which, I imagine, was half a world away from Lanie. And then just a few months ago, I dreamed of being back to school doing campaigns with Lanie, even if I’ve never been a member of any political orgs in my college days. I think I also dreamed of spending a day with Lanie at the Metropolitan Museum of Arts, but that’s hard to remember, which you’ll understand if you’ve ever been to the Met.

Oddly, we only almost knew each other.

It happened in the young hours of the night. I finished my exam and was about to leave on our school’s North gate - which is called that because I heard that it aligns with the north star and I’m not sure if I should take that on face value or if there’s a clue in there somewhere leading to the treasures of Triforce. I saw her standing there in all her resplendence. Forget the tarp: if she looked anything like that, Nightdreamer could’ve been a normal guy instead. Her beauty had such an effect on me that basking in insanity was my most novel idea of the day. But wait, she smiled and waved. My sweet lord, it’s the 1000-watts smile plus a waving, there is not a supermodel posing as a Wii gamer that could compare to that! I looked behind because I thought she was greeting someone behind me, but nobody was behind me, so my conclusion was that she was greeting me. I also took it for granted that she didn’t see apparitions, and at least based on her reactions I think that’s true.

So put yourself in such position then, what would you do? This girl you like is in her lonesome, smiling and waving silly at you. There’s a bench nearby where you can sit and have small chats. People say you’re a deipnosophist. What would you do?

You wouldn’t give her the cold shoulder, would you? Well, that’s what I did, out of being too stunned to do anything logical. I went home cursing myself over and over again for what I did there, folks, because that’s quality incompetence I showed there! College student, and still torpe (closest translation: clueless about how to meet women) what the hell, and this coming from the same guy who effortlessly introduced himself to Sam Oh  few years before and to Shaira Luna few years after this fiasco! Seriously, slitting my wrist wasn’t such a bad idea for me then because I couldn’t live with that shame. I bet you’re laughing at me; I deserve it, for once.

It also didn’t take long for her to be in a relationship after that. I think it’s still them, now.

About the only time I ever talked to Lanie was when she re-elected and I wished her good luck. Her “thanks” resounded so much I still hear it now. That’s what happens when you hear a sincere gratitude from the person you’re infatuated with.

The last time I saw her was year 2005, so why am I still dreaming of her now when every trace of her in my memory is so bittersweet?

Right now I want to eat halo-halo.

Connection? Confectioneries. I’m craving sugar, which explains why this post is so cloying. I’m so fired up to play Apollo Justice (it’s a lawyer game) that I’m now cross examining my own words. Durrr. 

(Image courtesy of ourawesomeplanet, which is just the place to go if you want more info about halo-halo)

Story of the Past part 2

So I was planning to sleep early today, but that did not go so well. It’s 2 AM by now yet drowse eludes me. And want to know what fantastic decision I made? Well, you’ll probably get it by the fact alone that you’re reading this blog.

I’ve been a bit of a retrospective mood since last month, but retro can grow stale when overdone. But, I do see the point - pinings of the good times of the past and all. Anyway, I’ve been reminiscing too much that I did get to ruminate about the state of my blog. I’ve blogged for 3 years now (no, not here), nightdreamer has been my new beginning from last year, and things have been pretty good for me when it comes to being an i.ph blogger because people do bother reading this stuff, unlike my earlier friendster blog. And speaking of friendster blog, I always dread revisiting it because everytime I do that, I realize how much I sucked. I still suck now, but perhaps not that much.

I’ve even been bugging some of my friends from ym about how bad my writing used to be. It always make me feel better when I tell others my moments of embarrasments. I don’t know why. 

Anyhow, about the only Friendster blog post that I couldn’t find anything to complain about is something I wrote 3 years ago. This is it:

The Last Day of 2005

Posted December 31, 2005

Today, I went out with a group of Chinese friends - genuine ones, as in immigrants. I was glad to see them again since I hadn’t done so for a long time. There was quite a reconnection but sadly, I was a little let down.

Everyone is older than I am. This meant they talked about different topics to the ones I center my conversations with. Now, that’s not entirely bad, because variety is what I seek in my life, but when people talk about things that I’m not prepared to talk about in depth, I find myself very distant.

Not everything was bad. I was pretty entertained that none of them knew how to go to Makati, and that I had to be their tour guide when we arrived at Glorietta, Greenbelt, and Landmark. We window shopped. When they asked for directions to different stores, 95% of the time I was able to give answers. When we ate at California Pizza Kitchen, it was I who recommended the best pizza for them (which, in my opinion, is "Wild Mushrooms"). But when they started talking about the things they were interested in, my problem started. They liked furniture. Ok, so I also liked furniture, but seeing that I wasn’t even going to move out, what was I supposed to do with them? Aside from that, they kept shunning the stores I was really very interested in. They didn’t even take notice of any music stores and art shops (I was hoping to buy some new painting/coloring materials, seeing as how I want to now try color sketching). Their visit to PowerBooks was brief. What do they like, then, was the question that lurked in my mind for the longest time since I went out with them.

I dunno. I just don’t like it too much when people don’t appreciate arts, movies, literatures, and music (good ones, of course). I find them very pitifully dull. But that’s not all. I rolled my eyes on so many occasions when they brought up topics about marriage. Some of these people were about to be married next year, and they kept talking about how they’re going to handle this occasion, i.e. whether or not they’re going to treat everyone to a trite dinner (with accompanying awful KTV music, of course), have commencement at the church, etc. Um, excuse me, where did I fit in during such discussions? It’s understandable had they brought this up occasionally, but man, if they weren’t talking about furniture, they were talking about marriage. How was I supposed to relate to all of these? Okay, so what they’re saying was that they’re really happy they’re going to get married but were dismayed that they couldn’t find the proper way to arrange their marriage? They’re unhappy from complaining that their parents and their SO’s parents may have conflicting ideologies and beliefs? Gee, I think that’s very thoughful considering that I didn’t even have a friggin’ girlfriend! They even labelled me as a kid just because! (Authors note: I still don’t have a girlfriend; nor have I found one in the 3-year interval between reposting)

Anyway, that was the last of memorable event that happened in 2005. Have a Happy New Year.

Okay, so everything’s not so bad. I didn’t have to edit it as much as I would to my other Friendster posts. And, uh, yeah, no girlfriends still. And about these Chinese? They’re all married now. Actually, I didn’t confess then that I had a crush on one of them. Naturally, she’s married now. This is starting to sound like the short story I wrote, huh.

Peevish Blogger Blogging Peeves Part 2

I just found out that the more I read blogs, the more irritable I become. 

Why? Hoo boy this will be long I hope your boss is away talking to someone less important than you, my dear readers. Don’t call me glib. I don’t mean it.

The world of blogging (which I refuse to call the "blogosphere" unless I intend to demean blogging in general, but since I am demeaning it today, what the heck, blogosphere, toodles!) is not as good as it’s cracked up to be. Sure, it’s the paragon of “free press”. With that comes the tendency for blogospher0rz (my term for toodle bloggers. Don’t steal it.) to become as pestiferous as their wit has limits. It’s troubling to look at them because what they do have no place in prints. 

So, yes, this is about blogging peeves again. I hope this doesn’t come out on monthly basis because I can only handle so much hate. Why I have so many blogging peeves may come from my cynical nature, but I doubt that: I’m such an optimist after all (look, I’m awesome, okay? All right, you too, if you’re my follower. Now for those who are out of the loop, we have to enlighten them, because otherwise their blogs will do nothing but emit fecal carbons, and those will expedite global warming. Just kidding!!!) Actually, I’d love to think that these annoy only me, but the truth is that I hear of others not liking what they see in the blogging community too. Anyway, I want to voice my complaints, especially considering what has happened to me a few days ago, as you’ll find out shortly. Like my post from last month, I’m listing down some bothersome blogospher0rz’s habits. 

4. Writer-frontin’

It’s what I call people who think of themselves as amazing writers they’d do everything to remind people that. I’m not talking about those who say it jokingly either; I’m talking about those who mean it. They think they’ve such a handle of humor that even when they put a period (as in “.”) they expect readers ROFLing. Worse are those who treat their profile like it’s their resume perhaps for street cred purposes, and won’t stop emphasizing the writer part. [Sorry but I don’t believe in publicity by notoriety, so I’m not going to post the links] I’ve seen the worst case of that from someone who has a pen-in-hand image as a header. Hoo boy, what unassuming genius! Curious of what such illustrious luminary have to write? Well, nothing! Just Google News copy-pastes! I bet that guy wakes up everyday thinking “zomgz I ignored teh alarmz now my fellow bloggers has ta get delayed upd8s of teh recent headlinez WAAH (insert crying smiley)”. If he has something considerable to say about these news then he’s at least worth something. That’s not true. He once posted about global warming, and said he doesn’t believe in it. And that’s it! No substantiating facts, no theories of his own, but pure minimalistic “I don’t believe in it”. Whoa how Al Gore has fallen! Somebody award this “writer” a Nobel Peace Prize please. 

The lesson here is that you shouldn’t writer-front if you can’t show the skills to back it up, or else you subject yourself to the mockery of meanspirited bloggers, such as me. 

5. Award-committees

All right, readers, I want you to pause for a minute and let this question marinate: what do you have in mind when you hear the word “award”?

Cream of the crop? Life changing? Established beliefs shattering? Eureka inducing? Bee’s knees? Cat’s meow? Owl’s pillows? 

Now go here (provided you can wade through the clunky design, something I’ll nitpick later) and choose some random award winners, then come back to me. 

Exactly.

I cast suspicions on many award-giving bodies. Grammy, Oscar, and Metro Manila Film Festival are examples, but I am by heaps more dubitable about “Blog Awards” (again, I won’t mention what specifically). I don’t care if a blog invites more clicks: I care about the content. Not everything with many clicks is good read, and not everything that is good read gets many clicks. If you ask me which one deserves the award more, I’d say the latter, because they do deserve a wider audience. That’s why I find it distressing that that’s not what’s happening. You would feel the same way if you are among those who want independent films to flourish. 

It does not help that these blog are awarded by votes. I wonder by what kind of people. I fear what I might find. 

Meanwhile, there are those from my dope blog list. All very fine writers, thank you very much. The catch? No award crapolas. If any of you from my dope list is reading this, heed, then: you don’t need awards to prove that you’re somebody. You might want to read liz’s aspersions to blog awards for a more in-depth analysis of this debacle. 

I’m beginning to think that blogs with awards are nothing but cloying sellouts that do not know how to write without pandering to everyone. If this becomes consistently true (want to know if it is, based on my experience so far?) I might want to deliberately avoid these award winners. Screw popularity contests! 

6. Plagiarists

There’s a thesis paper waiting to happen whenever word of plagiarism is uttered. 

And then, that thesis paper will be plagiarized. 

I’m not a fan of bloggers copy-pasting their contents from another source, but there’s nothing wrong with doing it if you do cite the source.

And so you would understand why I’m not pleased if, of all people, advocates or political pundits (who are supposed to be more sensible than the average yuppie scumbag) take my photoshopped image of Gloria and claim it as their own and use it for their own selfish purposes. Yes, this I did not expect because it wasn’t a big deal for me to make, but apparently it has become notorious. As for me? Nary a mention. Good job, guys, I commend your ways of trying to unseat a president accused of stealing. In the meantime, don’t over-introspect. 

7. “Public service announcements”

When I open Google news or Yahoo news, I expect to be informed about the current events. But when I open a blog, ah, I expect to read an opinion, and it helps if it’s creative and well-thought. 

I shun blogs that speaks of nothing else you can’t read on today’s newspaper headlines - the exception of that is when it’s a political article substantiated with well-researched information, or approached at an unusual angle, but even for such, I have only a limited appetite (and I think I’ve heard enough of Lozada. Wake me up when something happens). The blogs that delight me more are those that talk about topics not heard on coffee shops everywhere. 

The stupid fact of life in blogging is that when you see a new Google news article, everyone’s going to write about it. How is your opinion going to matter more than the million other’s then, if you don’t even express it in a creative way? We don’t need you doing public service announcements; we need you offering some insights. 

Anyway, bloggers who do nothing but talk about ebay auction of Britney’s hair or about Justin and Scarlett are not going to find a spot on my dope blog list. 

8. Bandwagon

If you’re going to dwell on semantics, then yes 7 and 8 are identical. I see the case of 8 happening when someone blogs what everyone else has been blogging, but this in a more general sense that just the Google news headline. 

It’s not that complicated. Just go to many blogs and see their last week’s entries. You’ll find everyone talking about their Valentine’s Day. Now I admit I did something like this for VD, but that’s a short story, yo! Same goes for Christmas and New Year. It doesn’t always have to be about holidays: at the release of the latest blockbuster movies you’ll find mounds blogosher0rz talking about the same movie. It applies to whatever is chic, be it music, movies, fashion, or books. There’s nothing wrong with covering such topics (although it does reek of being bankrupt of ideas) if you can offer fresh insights about them (which counters the bankrupt bias). Sadly, that doesn’t happen a lot, as some talk about them just for the sake of being able to talk about them. For instance, I read one embarrassing “review” of Corrine Bailey Rae’s “Put Your Records On”: 

“Really cool. Simply sublime.” 

I mean, how is that going to inform anyone of what to expect from that song? “Sublime” is such an overused praise, it’s sublime. I hope my blog is sublime. I hope you’re sublime. I hope we all get soaked in subliminal sublimity. 

Banters aside, this does not annoy as me much as the rest of the peeves I’ve listed, but I’m still troubled in finding how little people try to come up with new ideas. Have you seen American Psycho? The main character became psychotic because everyone was always talking about the same thing: what’s hip. 

9. Bad design

I’d love to tell you that the writing’s the only thing that matter in blogging, but that’s not true. Your blog need to look presentable. The texts have to contrast from the background to a certain extent, but not so much that they hurt the eyes. Please de-clutter your blog because I hate to find you being mocked by Web Pages That Suck. Take away those unnecessary ads. Even better, take away those cheesy animated GIF’s, good Lord! Don’t make your blog look like something straight out of Microsoft Frontpage! And for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT USE COMICS SANS!

The "Screw Valentine’s Day" Raillery

Major PWNage alert! 

Musclecaptain: i suppose there are always actual women
nightdreamer: overrated. i prefer alien lesbian sex!111111
nightdreamer: i’m going to show my kid that video!
Musclecaptain: a kid would of course require an actual woman
Musclecaptain: unless you’re talking about your adopted son
Musclecaptain: you could tell the agency that you’re going to show him lots of porn
nightdreamer: hahaha
nightdreamer: the thought always inspires me.
nightdreamer: in fact we should create a new tv series. 24, but instead of fighting terrorists 24 hours a day we have people having sex for that long
nightdreamer: i wonder how the sneak preview will be:
nightdreamer: "next on 24, jack boner penetrates…"
Musclecaptain: this is disturbingly well thought out
nightdreamer: hahaha
Musclecaptain: maybe you DO need a date
nightdreamer: aw shucks you can tell?
nightdreamer: i guess all imaginative people are horny then.
nightdreamer: my goodness valentine’s day sucks. unless you’re celebrating it. then it blows.
nightdreamer: do you think ninjas celebrate valentine’s day as well?
Musclecaptain: of course not. what kind of ridiculous question is that? everyone knows ninjas show no emotion
nightdreamer: yeah, so why do they have sex in that ninja scroll movie?
nightdreamer: wow this discussion is getting deeper and deeper every minute
Musclecaptain: huh?
nightdreamer: and not in a pornographic way.
Musclecaptain: who said sex has anything to do with emotion? the ninja must have offspring
nightdreamer: hahaha
nightdreamer: you’re right
nightdreamer: i’m PWNed.
nightdreamer: my god this is such a ridiculous IM conversation, i just may want to post it in my blog!
Musclecaptain: that’d be a great conversation starter for your next date
nightdreamer: hahaha =))
nightdreamer: how come you’re so clever?
nightdreamer: bastard!
Musclecaptain: my father was a ninja
nightdreamer: LOL

Valentine’s Noir

[this is a work of fiction] 

With a bag hanging heavily on my right shoulder, I strode. I wanted to leave, lickety-split, unburdened by signs that this was yet another Valentine’s Day spent solitarily. "Only a few minutes and I’ll be home," I said to myself, "locked in my room - my sanctuary - reading, daydreaming, and videogaming. For solace." Valentine’s Day is just a day, but it drags on and is more all-over-the-place than Thanksgivings. Just look: Violins playing, bards serenading, couples cuddling: they’re all falls of civilization. I wasn’t even going to be bothered by the thesis paper I wrote on my head – the theory that every Feb 14 is the record day of the year for the start of pregnancy, which will only assert that people don’t even try to be creative these days; like, make babies only on Feb 29. That’s four years per sex! Nobody does that! Don’t they understand the joy of delayed gratification any more? I swear, back in the days they blah blah blah. Today, such thoughts, they did not bother me, and I was doing well in minding my own business and heading home. But, there’s just one bugger that I cannot flee from. It’s that place, that quadrangle at the center of all buildings - without passing there I can’t go anywhere.

Sure enough, it was packed. My route was interrupted by bazaars selling amative goods, and by a crowd of last minute shoppers. People never learn to shop early: what’s the excuse today, that flowers are ephemeral? As if there’s nothing else to buy for your love. Geez. What did I say about the state of the civilization again. Right… people, bazaar, flowers, people bazaar, flowers, all signs of one truth: my exit will be delayed.

My musings got crudely interrupted by the call of my name. It’s from a girl I know. A girl I like. A girl who likes someone else, oh good grief. “Are you going to spend your Valentine’s Day with anyone?” she asked, I don’t know if officiously or if mockingly. If I told her I’m free, would the import of that word be “all right, we can be together”? What other words should I use then, I pondered.

“Coz I’m selling paper flowers here. Maybe you’d like to buy them for your sweetie?” she followed, also interrupting my thoughts.

Now that ought to be awkward. You’re facing the girl you like but cannot be with because she has someone else, so you can’t give her roses, but she’s selling you the ersatz ones so you can give them to someone. It’s like being face-palmed two times, like I’m being told “Oh so you can’t get the girl that you want? Too bad, then, just find a second best girl and buy her second best roses.” What do I make of this, a poignant psychological experiment?

A voice finally left the barrier of my teeth, carrying with it all my pent up bitterness. “Hahaha,” I pretended to laugh. “but what would I need paper roses for? Who do I give them to?” I knew it was understood that paper roses weren’t very nice. How will she sell hers then? How will she tell me they’re better than the real thing?

“Paper roses are fine things”, she answered. “They do not die like real flowers. Plus, it takes some effort to create them, and you can see that this one, the ones I’m selling, they’re labors of love.”

Love. How canorous. I was moved. I can’t ever resist hearing any girl saying that word; now what more from the girl that I like? I couldn’t think rationally, except that I would buy these flowers for no one in particular, but I’ll do it for her sake anyway. It did look like her labor of love, after all. So if I can’t be her love, why not just try to make her happy? “Okay, I’ll buy one,” I gave her the cash, "and I’m giving it to you."

“Why, thank you. I’m flattered” she answered. But it wasn’t her words that told the whole story.

It was the way she said it.

These happened two years ago. I heard she’s married now. 

PWN GLORIA LOLLERZ

I’m not the type of person who does what everyone else does (go ask anyone who’s been with me in real life), but today’s an exception.

It’s Jen’s idea to blogswarm (what the heck, another bloggy pseudo-word?! How many of them will they make? They all sound silly, for sure!). She proposes that bloggers who are opposed to Gloria should post their choice "OUST GLORIA" pic on their own blog, just to be heard (The pen is mightier than the sword, jen quotes Rizal. But jen, we’re using teh keyboardz! Is ASLKJ$&(*#UWE&%@(#!LOLLER@#%^^57soaaw23AA$#BBQ!!(ONE)! mighty? And does Wacom’s stylus count?). We’re supposed to do that on Friday, but I don’t think I’ll blog that day, so, I’m posting that pic prematurely.

Anyway, I’m sure these bloggers will go to images.google.com (or maybe gettyimages) to scrounge for their "unique" Gloria pics.

Kind of lame, if you ask me.

LEARN FROM THE GURU!

20XX Lozada Odyssey

Lozada used to be just a name, just like yours and mine. Months ago, you had to ask who he is were you to see him, perhaps for a business proposal or a game of golf. Then, ZTE, and Lozada became a thesis paper, a blockbuster movie, and a psychological test - like a Rorschach inkblot analysis that reveals your political beliefs. To some, he’s just a scum, a waste of time. To others, he’s the panacea. And, of course, some fall within the gray areas.

I’m not interested in blogging about Lozada as a person. I want to talk about what happens if the ZTE investigation succeeds and it unseats GMA. These are speculations, and you decide whether or not my theories are sound. That’s what my comment box is for, right?

To begin, Noli de Castro may replace GMA. We will be skeptic of him because he is why we hesitate in shooing GMA. After all, he has a dubious integrity. He will need to prove that he’s better than GMA, and that he isn’t involved in GMA’s diabolical schemes (insert nwuahaha sound clip). It will not matter if he remains in the GMA camp or turns to Estrada’s camp; either way, he will be grilled by supporters of where he doesn’t belong. He might end up singing “Hard Times, No One Knows Better than I”, perhaps to the tune of the TV Patrol Overture? 

So, if even Noli de Castro will get the boots, then someone from the opposition will rule the country. Will they be better, everyone will wonder. The opposition will try to prove that they are. They will set lofty goals that will please many. Will they work towards such goals, or will they do corrupt deeds while we aren’t looking? This will initially concern us much, and that’s why we pay them undivided attention: our standards will be high, that we upbraid even the smallest hint of theft.

I’m just worried about recidivism. We’re not known to have long attention spans after all. Notice how many of passing fancies we have already forgotten? Notice how fast our passing fancies pass? That should be proof. We may eventually tire of being all eyes on our government, and by then, everything will devolve to mediocrity, idealism reduced to defeatism. Such is our nation’s vicious cycle. We will go back to pursuing our pointless selfish pursuits while sipping frappes and talking about all kinds of obnoxious misogynistic hot topics FHM so love to churn. Maybe listen to the new RnB crooner and party with plinky-plonky techno music? Hey, toss in there the new Kris Aquino scandal, the new American Idol knockoff, the new telefantasiya, the new “kilig movie” and the new movie star running for public office (who’s betting for Gretchen Barretto?)! Yes, that works! Pass the cocaine! Politics? Ikaw talaga you can’t sit back and ENJOY LIFE! Tara na sa Embassy!

So far, the previous 3 paragraphs is the result if GMA gets ousted, whatever the cause. So what of ZTE-specific predictions then?

Lozada will become a superstar. His “humble homey” posterior will metamorph to “complacent conyo”, kind of like how hydrocephalic Manny Pacquiao has become. Perhaps, like Pacquiao, he’ll even run for mayor or congressman, by the persuasion and with the support of the token sycophant-of-the-palace.

And how about Joey, for taking the preemptive strikes on GMA and everything ZTE-related? Histories of his family’s unscrupulousness will be ignored. Heck, people might even make a movie of him starring, who, Richard Gomez? Cesar Montano? Actors who do want to run for office too? And he’ll be paired with the latest number 1 hot babe ng bayan (and even number 2! It always comes in more than one! Love triangle’s the shiznit, yo!) I swear! He’ll be portrayed as a kind of person who’s found God, bought a guitar, and played folk songs about his rebirth, Bob Dylan style! It will be as if his involvement with the ZTE has been benevolent at all. His big-eared dad will be redeemed and will become congressman again. Another day, another return of the Trapos. Jooooyyyy!

I’m sure that after you’ve read my inane predictions, you’ll be wondering what side I’m on. But of course, I do think that we have to stop tolerating corruptions. I do think that change has to come, and yes, GMA has to go. I don’t believe that she has to stay because the vice president isn’t better. If she’s not convicted for her crimes, it would make it okay for others to commit them.

So how about you and me? Are we free of blame? In our apathy, we are just conniving at our government when they steal, kill and lie. I don’t think it is by chance that the state of our nation (yes, despite all the PR talks) keeps declining even as we change those who are in power. We look for quick fixes, just like what the governments do to our roads, but we never follow through when we promise ourselves new eras, and we’re like those who leave their work half-done. Even when new faces rule, we just go back to where we used to be, and that’s a downward spiral. We’ve been there for too long, but are we doing anything to get us out of there? What, by sitting and doing nothing? By social-climbing, ride-pimping, coke-sniffing and gansta-frontin?

If we are going to ensure that this time, it will be different, shouldn’t we now reflect on what’s fundamentally wrong with our attitude? Let’s try to be more informed of our current events, ruminate on what they imply, and react when tyranny surfaces. Anyway, here’s a song for you. Listen to its words carefully, okay? We out!

Robbin Hood Theory by Gang Starr

Influx of Hodgepodge

Sounds like the title of an awful rockband, doesn’t it? I feel the same way about "Quantum of Solace", by the way.

How about a jazz song before we begin?

Deep Night (Sonny Clark)

First, a shout-out, yet again (well, two). I found a blog called "Voice of the the Filipinos". It is unrelated to Chavit Singson, incidentally and thank-God-a-lly. Go and bookmark it. Better yet, memorize the link. It’s simply www.tingog.com. Amazangly easy to remember for those who know that Tingog is the vernacular for voice. Ilonggo in particular. Bisaya too, perhaps. Man, me and my unnecessary rodomontades. Anyway, it’s a newspaper’s editorial kind of blog, which means the author, nick, writes the current events of the Philippines and his thought about them, duh! The same thing applies to another one with a hilarious title "Tongue In, Anew". Unfortunately, the latter’s updates are few and far in between. I’m not a fan of the "update your blog everyday" mindset (really, that’s stressful), but, for an author as well-spoken as Tongue’s, he sure could post his views more frequently. Like, once a week.

Anyway, both blogs are in my dope list. Why? Coz they dope, yo!

I forgot to add a couple more: Manila Bay Watch and Etcetera etcetera. I don’t know what it is with me being obsessed with current-events blogs lately. Could be that I’m sick and tired of our government and can’t wait for change to come. And change is gonna come. I just hope it’s the Sam Cooke’s way and not the Vilma Santos’s corny "pagbabago" ballyhoo way. I visited MBW half a year ago, but stopped because the blog became ads-infested. Looks like it’s been fixed now, though, which means I can now go back to reading the good articles there. Yipee. I only found etcetera etcetera today, and don’t have a lot of opinion for it yet, but initial impressions are positive. And wow I must’ve forgotten how to stand after seeing the author’s profile pic, what with that 1000-watts smile. Have you ever been to electric ladyland?

Damn, they make me wish to be more knowledgeable about politics to write at length about them, but how could I even match the authors of any of the blogs I’ve referred above? Meanwhile, the only things I have an intimate knowledge of are stuff nobody cares about, like REAL jazz music (and not some Dave Koz lounge-y garbage) and fictions that aren’t Natio-featured.

It’s never wrong to pay others compliments, especially if you’re sincere about it. You make others happy, and you don’t feel so bad yourself. It’s a win-win.

I also frequent Ramblingvirus’s blog. I’m sure this is a description that will incite the cringing from all blogosphere cracks - collective idiots in other words - but I sure do like to make people suffer, so (PLEASE DO NOT CLICK THE BACK BUTTON): He’s kind of like a more levelheaded me. Hahaha! Or am I merely a more colorful he? Well, one thing is for certain, I ramble on for far longer than he does, for better or worse. Or should I say, nolens volens? Damn Latin words sure do make people sound smart. I’m being facetious.

Which reminds me, dictionary.reference.com, a site that I frequent, told me of some new killer app they cooked up: The reverse dictionary!

The reverse dictionary lets you go from a concept/idea/definition to words and phrases used to describe that concept. You can enter a single word, phrase, or a few words and hit the "Reverse Search" button.

Alas, it’s not as killer as I hoped. For one, I don’t get results when I reverse search "monkey’s ass", "superman dat ho", "ninja", "zombie", "douchebag" and "light sabers". Lamers. Heck, I reverse searched "crime" and didn’t get PGMA as a result, and not even Dubya. Good grief, anyone who don’t tag "crime" with them are LEARNING IMPAIRED! Bah, Urban Dictionary ftw!

It sure does sound like a happy day for me. It is. I mean, I don’t have a lot of reasons to be happy and perhaps not having a date in Feb 14 should make me bitter, being enmeshed in the season of hearts alone yet again and all, but I’m just happy. The simple reason being, I slept early yesterday. Yay! Sleeping early is always a better way to revitalize, better anyway than drinking tons of caffeinated drink so as to operate like a zombie-panda with the breath of Raul Gonzales and Miriam Defensor Santiago (damn, that oughta be fragrant!). I hope everyone still remembers that.

Get a Play-Doh and bring it to work. It’s cheap (P20 only) and it’s good for you - what better way to relieve stress than to apply pressure on such protean plaything?

Lastly, 2 pointless IM Conversations:

Me: I just went to Shanghai.

Dude: What’s that?

Me: (SERIOUSLY??!! but, kept composure): It’s a city in China.

Dude: O.

Dude: So did you get to see Shaolin Monks doing kung fu.

Me: No, no fancy kung fu for me.

Me: The thing I’ve seen that came closest to that was some fancy Crouching Tiger flying.

[Note: I’m not lying.] 

Dude: Awesome!

Me: But too bad, I didn’t get to see bald guys breaking stuffs with their head

Me: And getting chronic migraine for the rest of their lives. 

nightdreamer: so, you have someone to spend your valentine’s day with?  (note: THIS IS A CASUAL QUESTION!)

elsie: yes of course…

elsie: hihhihi

elsie: kaw?

nightdreamer: nope. nada. single still.

elsie: hahaha

elsie: still?

elsie: single?

elsie: o c’mon

nightdreamer: huh? what’s so unbelievable about that? i’m not like a prince charming or anything.

elsie: nyek

elsie: you are

nightdreamer: huwaw that’s the first time anyone actually said something like that. BLOG NA!

What Are You Reading Right Now?

All right, before I start, allow me to explain why, lately, I post infrequently. I’m sure my readers want to know what’s happening to my life. It’s… not so great. Actually, it’s pretty bad. My home’s desktop computer was busted. A tire ripped while I was driving. My friend’s mom’s blood pressure rose. My office’s desktop computer’s (what I’m currently using - yeah, today’s an idle day. What can I say?) keyboard was busted, and I got an awful one as a replacement - and by that I mean the keyboard that wouldn’t write unless I pound it. I’m also pretty broke.

About the only good thing was that I’ve finished reading a few books last week.

Actually, I don’t know if I should call that "good" news instead of "normal", which would then be cancelled out by those predicaments I’ve been going through. One of the lofty goals I have planned for this year is to finish 52 books; that means I need to finish 1 book per week. Six weeks have passed, and I’ve finished six books. I don’t see what’s so great about that. If I’ve been a book or two ahead, that’s what I would call good news.

Additionally, I’m currently reading Odyssey. If you’ve read my "10 things" post, you know what’s to come next - a 900-paged, notoriously unreadable book that disregards everything you’ve learned about English, and yet is heralded as one of the most essential texts. I’m getting a mixed feeling of anticipation and apprehension.

Now for the first time, I’m not starting my paragraph with letter "A". I like doing that back in college so as to remind my professor that that’s the alphabet my grade deserves. I heard the effect is sublime, although I don’t think that ever worked the way I wanted. Anyway, this is not a term paper, and nobody’s doing any grading. Let’s get to gist of this post now.

I read Things Fall Apart (Chinua Achebe) and Foundation (Isaac Asimov) simultaneously, but I finished Things Fall Apart a day earlier. The title should give you the clue that this is a fall-from-grace story, and it is. It details the life of Okonkwo, who, in enduring many hardships, rose to become a person of high rank. His ego was as massive as the respect his village people paid him, and he ruled his family with iron fist, often resorting to violence. He eventually fell, but I’ll let you find out what led to that. I enjoyed Things Fall Apart very much, particularly how it paints the norms and the traditions of Africa, and although some of Okonkwo’s shortcomings leave a lot to be desired, I still find myself sympathetic to him. I also like Chinua Achebe’s writing style: it is simple yet crisp, and despite the relatively low verbal proficiency the book required, it never sounded dumbed-down. 

Foundation takes place 10,000 (some) years ahead of now. By the powers of math and psychology, Hari Seldon predicted that in 200 years the Galactic Empire would fall. So he gathered a few notable scientists and built the Foundation, so that he can mitigate the effects. To think that math and psychology can predict the future is to oversimplify theories of divinations, but whatever, I still think the idea is sound. Sadly, I’m indifferent to whatever the hell is going on with the Foundation, and that’s because of the plot and the writing. Basically, there’s more talking and yapping than any movement, it’s like reading a boring dossier. It wouldn’t be so bad if the characters were interesting. They weren’t. Everyone was either the interchangeable manipulative intellectual powerhouse (Seldon/Hardin/Mallow) who always wins and who talks like he has rehearsed his every dialogue, or the also-interchangeable inept pseudo-intellectual "thinks he’s the shrewd devil" cannon fodder who always loses and who also talks like he’s rehearsed his every dialogue, except with more venom. And notice the choice of pronoun? That’s right, there were almost no woman, as if a woman is insignificant in politics (a bizarre belief if, while reading foundation, you’re in a country where a woman perverts democracy). I also think that the wins were done in a very annoying way - what I call the "Knew Ex Machina", which is the "I KNEW THIS ALL ALONG HOHOHO!" plot device. The readers never could’ve learned beforehand how a person could possibly overcome an adversity, then it just happens and that person discourses a whole chapter about how awesome his wit is. Such cheap storytelling! The setting is also irrelevant: I don’t know why this had to be in the future, because the description of such future was so sparse. It could’ve taken place now and the story wouldn’t alter. Heck, Asimov could put a lolcat in there and it won’t matter (like, "V10L3NZ D LAST PWNAGE 4 INCOMPETANZ!"). I heard that the latter Foundation books are better. I sure hope so, because the first book is bust, despite the good premise.

So that wraps my post for today. Anyone read any good books lately? Want to make some recommendations? Want to comment on my opinions of Things Fall Apart and Foundation? Then cram my comment box to your heart’s content!

Agila

By the way, I’ve uploaded this last week, but I’m only showing it now.

It’s a sketch of the Philippine Eagle, an altogether badass-est looking eagle to ever exist. It even eats monkey. Just how slick is that?!

I used a pencil first, and then an ink, and then a few photoshop and illustrator clean-ups. 

So here it comes. Click to enlarge.

10 Things

This came from ramblingvirus, and I’m doing this because I respect him. 

10 Random Things About Me… 

1. I’m a vegetarian, and I don’t intend to renounce that.

2. Night Dreamer is actually a song by Wayne Shorter. Now will you please listen to it?

3. I was extremely busy last friday. I had to create a flash presentation, and as if it wasn’t bad enough that I had to submit the next day, I was told just then that I had to submit 5 hours earlier than the original proposed time. I  worked until 4 AM, slept only for 3 hours, then went to see the guy proposing such torture, only to receive word that he was sick and had postponed the submission to next week. Gee, all my losing sleep for this?

4. And yet, instead of going home immediately, I stayed on that venue, borrowed a computer, and did some tweakings on my flash. I wouldn’t stop doing it until my head was searing. AND YET, I didn’t feel tired. My flash teacher was also with me then, and we spent hours chatting. And that was fun. There’s nothing that energizes me more than an intellectually stimulating conversation, and it’s been a while since I talked to someone for that long.

5. In case you don’t know about this, my real life self is the most apart to my persona as Nightdreamer. I’m tongue-tied, am quite shy, and am vaguely nice. No, really, I kid you not.

6. Also, I seem to be more interested in talking to people who are more artistically-inclined (which is one way I describe my flash teacher). Perhaps it has something to do with having a pianist as a sister and a comic artist as a brother, but something about the way artists perceive the world never ceases to amaze me. At least, I find creative-thinkers much more fun to be with than those typical social-climbing frappe-swirling yuppie scum garbage whose conversations - most of which are done on Starbucks - only involve cars, celebrities and fashions.

7. I was supposed to write items 3-6 on a seperate post, but my head aches and I couldn’t express them eloquently.

8. I like to nitpick double standards.

(And one of the most recent double-standard that I’ve spotted, unfortunately, come from sports journalists. NBA ones, in particular. Just last week, Boston defeated Minnesota by one point, and I expected to read that Minnesota does not actually suck that much. Instead, the journalists recounted this like Boston did the most awesome thing ever, and was gushing Kevin Garnett as if he sends these journalistic jesters free passes to the local strip clubs. The irony is that KG didn’t even do well on that particular day. Also, a day before this one, Miami lost to San Antonio by one point, and the recount sounded like Miami was the stupidest team ever even if they were only a point behind last year’s champion. And you know what this reminds me? The Kobe-Lebron favoritism bull. That is, if Lebron scores 50 points people would go "OMG he rulez!!!" but when Kobe scores 50 points, people would go "ay, bwakaw yan!" [translation: he’s a ball-hog].)

9. My office desk contains a lot of weird trinkets. Art papers, origami-folds, novels, Transformer toys, and play-dohs.

10. When I’m done with Isaac Asimov’s Foundation and Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, I’ll be reading Odyssey, and then Ulysses. Actually, it’s Ulysses I’m most preparing for. It’s a heavy read.

People I’m tagging?

Well, anyone. But if pressed to list 10 down,

Brad, liz, cai, wits, schumey, J, fence, novz, cyril, dhey, michelle. The reason being, I just want to hear from them, is all. 

Today…

… I have a headache. And my back feels horrible. And I lack sleep. And I feel like decending into madness.

Mostly.

Blargh.

I hope I’ll feel better soon.