PWN GLORIA LOLLERZ

I’m not the type of person who does what everyone else does (go ask anyone who’s been with me in real life), but today’s an exception.

It’s Jen’s idea to blogswarm (what the heck, another bloggy pseudo-word?! How many of them will they make? They all sound silly, for sure!). She proposes that bloggers who are opposed to Gloria should post their choice "OUST GLORIA" pic on their own blog, just to be heard (The pen is mightier than the sword, jen quotes Rizal. But jen, we’re using teh keyboardz! Is ASLKJ$&(*#UWE&%@(#!LOLLER@#%^^57soaaw23AA$#BBQ!!(ONE)! mighty? And does Wacom’s stylus count?). We’re supposed to do that on Friday, but I don’t think I’ll blog that day, so, I’m posting that pic prematurely.

Anyway, I’m sure these bloggers will go to images.google.com (or maybe gettyimages) to scrounge for their "unique" Gloria pics.

Kind of lame, if you ask me.

LEARN FROM THE GURU!

20XX Lozada Odyssey

Lozada used to be just a name, just like yours and mine. Months ago, you had to ask who he is were you to see him, perhaps for a business proposal or a game of golf. Then, ZTE, and Lozada became a thesis paper, a blockbuster movie, and a psychological test - like a Rorschach inkblot analysis that reveals your political beliefs. To some, he’s just a scum, a waste of time. To others, he’s the panacea. And, of course, some fall within the gray areas.

I’m not interested in blogging about Lozada as a person. I want to talk about what happens if the ZTE investigation succeeds and it unseats GMA. These are speculations, and you decide whether or not my theories are sound. That’s what my comment box is for, right?

To begin, Noli de Castro may replace GMA. We will be skeptic of him because he is why we hesitate in shooing GMA. After all, he has a dubious integrity. He will need to prove that he’s better than GMA, and that he isn’t involved in GMA’s diabolical schemes (insert nwuahaha sound clip). It will not matter if he remains in the GMA camp or turns to Estrada’s camp; either way, he will be grilled by supporters of where he doesn’t belong. He might end up singing “Hard Times, No One Knows Better than I”, perhaps to the tune of the TV Patrol Overture? 

So, if even Noli de Castro will get the boots, then someone from the opposition will rule the country. Will they be better, everyone will wonder. The opposition will try to prove that they are. They will set lofty goals that will please many. Will they work towards such goals, or will they do corrupt deeds while we aren’t looking? This will initially concern us much, and that’s why we pay them undivided attention: our standards will be high, that we upbraid even the smallest hint of theft.

I’m just worried about recidivism. We’re not known to have long attention spans after all. Notice how many of passing fancies we have already forgotten? Notice how fast our passing fancies pass? That should be proof. We may eventually tire of being all eyes on our government, and by then, everything will devolve to mediocrity, idealism reduced to defeatism. Such is our nation’s vicious cycle. We will go back to pursuing our pointless selfish pursuits while sipping frappes and talking about all kinds of obnoxious misogynistic hot topics FHM so love to churn. Maybe listen to the new RnB crooner and party with plinky-plonky techno music? Hey, toss in there the new Kris Aquino scandal, the new American Idol knockoff, the new telefantasiya, the new “kilig movie” and the new movie star running for public office (who’s betting for Gretchen Barretto?)! Yes, that works! Pass the cocaine! Politics? Ikaw talaga you can’t sit back and ENJOY LIFE! Tara na sa Embassy!

So far, the previous 3 paragraphs is the result if GMA gets ousted, whatever the cause. So what of ZTE-specific predictions then?

Lozada will become a superstar. His “humble homey” posterior will metamorph to “complacent conyo”, kind of like how hydrocephalic Manny Pacquiao has become. Perhaps, like Pacquiao, he’ll even run for mayor or congressman, by the persuasion and with the support of the token sycophant-of-the-palace.

And how about Joey, for taking the preemptive strikes on GMA and everything ZTE-related? Histories of his family’s unscrupulousness will be ignored. Heck, people might even make a movie of him starring, who, Richard Gomez? Cesar Montano? Actors who do want to run for office too? And he’ll be paired with the latest number 1 hot babe ng bayan (and even number 2! It always comes in more than one! Love triangle’s the shiznit, yo!) I swear! He’ll be portrayed as a kind of person who’s found God, bought a guitar, and played folk songs about his rebirth, Bob Dylan style! It will be as if his involvement with the ZTE has been benevolent at all. His big-eared dad will be redeemed and will become congressman again. Another day, another return of the Trapos. Jooooyyyy!

I’m sure that after you’ve read my inane predictions, you’ll be wondering what side I’m on. But of course, I do think that we have to stop tolerating corruptions. I do think that change has to come, and yes, GMA has to go. I don’t believe that she has to stay because the vice president isn’t better. If she’s not convicted for her crimes, it would make it okay for others to commit them.

So how about you and me? Are we free of blame? In our apathy, we are just conniving at our government when they steal, kill and lie. I don’t think it is by chance that the state of our nation (yes, despite all the PR talks) keeps declining even as we change those who are in power. We look for quick fixes, just like what the governments do to our roads, but we never follow through when we promise ourselves new eras, and we’re like those who leave their work half-done. Even when new faces rule, we just go back to where we used to be, and that’s a downward spiral. We’ve been there for too long, but are we doing anything to get us out of there? What, by sitting and doing nothing? By social-climbing, ride-pimping, coke-sniffing and gansta-frontin?

If we are going to ensure that this time, it will be different, shouldn’t we now reflect on what’s fundamentally wrong with our attitude? Let’s try to be more informed of our current events, ruminate on what they imply, and react when tyranny surfaces. Anyway, here’s a song for you. Listen to its words carefully, okay? We out!

Robbin Hood Theory by Gang Starr