You’ve Got A Friend

Hey, have you heard of that song "You’ve Got A Friend" by James Taylor?

James Taylor - You’ve Got A Friend

Yes, well, guess what? Step aside Carole King and let me show you my lyrical prowess! Here’s my version of the song!

"When ur PWNd,
And ROFLd,
And j00 need some tag and meme.
And blogging, ooh blogging ain’t going r1te
Close ur tabs and click to me
And soon I will be der
2 w00t and up,
Even on rapidshare" 

"U juz answer my meme,
And, u knw, my AIM,
Il come buzzing,
2 c u again, 
Winter spring summer and fall
All u gotta do is LOL
And il b dr
j00 got a fren." 

GMA TV Ads Mockery Part 2

The sequel to this, of course. The third one for this week, oh good grief. I must be bored stiff!

Sorry but I couldn’t find the youtube videos again. Gosh I suck at youtube-hunting. You’ll get the most of this post if you’re frequently tuned to GMA TV.

Head and Shoulders

Annoying girlfriend takes away the pillow propping the boyfriend’s head. She is about to slam him with the pillow but then she notices that it emanates a fragrance, which is the smell permeating from his hair. This demonstrates that celebrities are so flawless they don’t drool on bedsheets even if their call time is erratic. Is that what you call a haircut? It looks like the workings of an incompetent gay señorita.

Pantene

Can’t Pantene ever find an intelligent endorser for once? It’s another Kris Aquino ad, in the millions. Kris Aquino is like Rachel Ray, except louder, more effusive and more trying-hard-to-be-promiscuous, yet she’s ultra popular because she’s the ex-president’s daughter, making her an instant hit among idiots everywhere. I abominate her and the only thing I like about her ads is the ease to poke holes on what she says. Remember, she has another Pantene ad where she says she has time for the only thing that matter - her son - only after she’s done with her hair. Her hair! Before this, she says "When people say I look 20 something, I say, more like 30 something pa siguro". When people say you act 15 something, you should say more like 5 something.

So what’s with the new ad? She worries the rain might damage her hair, like "zomgz d con3 is in shambles and ur out der worrying bout ur hair coz 8’s a big deal if ur hair is a bit 2sled. Wai!" I believe she invented lolkittynesse. After she uses Pantene, she says "Rain or shine, I’m UNBREAKABLE". Well, lollerz, what was it about Joey Marquez’s "rain" that made her cry and cry "STD" then?

Gago Macapagal’s Advertisement 

IN WHICH GMA says our minimum wages can buy everything we need. 

*cough* Tondo *cough* 

Here in Nightdreamer, you can have EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGES of becoming telepathic and scanning GMA’s train of thoughts upon making this ad: 

“hey, pilipinos are against me? can’t they see the economy is booming? can’t they see the economy is booming? can’t they see the economy is booming? [Oo na GMA!] let’s make them believe i’m good again, by broadcasting a hastily put powerpoint presentation done by someone with no layout knowledge. and put a techno music in there, kids love the techno.” 

All delivered in her signature soulless gnaw-ish voice, because even her thoughts are devoid of soul. I’m not even talking about soul as in spirit; I’m talking about the soul of music, the putting of your heart into the singing. So of course she has to hire a male teleprompter with voice as soulless as hers to do the teleprompting, by doing nothing but reading what was already written on screen, futher implying that Filipinos can’t read. And, hey, let’s solve the illiteracy by broadband education, right?

I refuse to capitalize the thing she says. 

Clear Black Valentine

See the earth shattering youtube video here.

Just what is it with Clear and its fancy pants endorsers anyway? Here we have trite ass dark cupid Piolo Pascual, who is the minister of fancypantism, shooting fancy pants arrows turning reddish things into “kewl” blacks. Wow the tacked on CGI angel wings couldn’t synchronize its flapping with the owner’s movements. Always delights me to predict the producer’s idea of creativity, which is like “black clothes, black cars, bows and angel wings? Instant COOLERSKATERZ moment for the morons!”