Fast Food Relationships! Boo hoo!

nightdreamer: what’s the feminine of guru?
nightdreamer: gura?!
helgatheweber: no, it’s still guru
nightdreamer: gurette?!

(Nightdreamer dug "gurette", so he changed helgatheweber’s alias)

nightdreamer: so anyway, yesterday i checked the friendster profile of one of my, um, hot friends
nightdreamer: and i learned that she’s in a relationship.
gurette: And?
gurette: Isnt everyone, nowadays
nightdreamer: last week, she wasn’t (obviously i’m interested in her!)
nightdreamer: wait, lemme finish!
nightdreamer: so today, i checked again, and…
nightdreamer: she’s single!
gurette: :))
nightdreamer: wow! ang bilis ng relation ngayon! [translation: wow the brevity of relationship these days!]
gurette: How old’s she?
nightdreamer: 23.
nightdreamer: it’s not very nice for 23 year olds to be this fickleminded about their relationships!
gurette: Well
gurette: Maybe theyve been together for a while
gurette: OH WAIT
gurette: Ok
gurette: BRAIN WORKING NOW
gurette: Heh
gurette: Lol
gurette: DO NOT JUDGE
nightdreamer: and then they found gratification in each other’s (i suspect, body) during the Holy Week vacation.
gurette: Maybe she wasnt really in a relationship
nightdreamer: i’m just guessing, okay! i want to write a novel about quick relationship! and then people will think i’m gay but i’ll be too rich to care then!
nightdreamer: [it’s nice to dream]
gurette: It’s all about urgency, nowadays
gurette: Fall in love fast
gurette: End relationships quickly
nightdreamer: fall out of love fast.
nightdreamer: true dat.
gurette: Yapf yapf
nightdreamer: this is not the only case of "quick relationship" i’ve seen. i also know of another person whose relationship status changes everytime i go to her friendster, which is like once a month.
nightdreamer: sheesh they’re looking for the wrong guy! try me! My relationship with them will last longer than my blog posts!
gurette: Pfffffft
gurette: You have to offer them more than longevity
gurette: Try MONEY
gurette: And GORGEOUS OFFSPRING BROUGHT ABOUT BY GOOD GENES
gurette: And…
gurette: And…
gurette: HOLY WEEK VACATIONS IN BORA
gurette: Ya, that should do it
nightdreamer: okay, way to diminish my self esteem

Odyssey and Ulysses

Homer’s Odyssey takes place on Greece and is about a warrior named Odysseus. After the Trojan War, he is missing, and people from his homeland, Ithaca, think he’s dead. His wife, Penelope, also believes it, but his son, Telemachus, insists that it is a false rumor. Meanwhile, nettlesome suitors of his mom loiter at his home, squander his resources, and abuse his personal space. At the advice of goddess Athena, he goes to an expedition to find his dad and to, together, restore order to where they live. 

I’m fortunate enough to read Odyssey via its verse translation, which, by its structure, makes a very delightful read. The original text is written in poetic form, meaning there are rhythm, rhyme, and consistent syllabications per line, all giving the story a songlike quality. The verse translation retains such quality, while excelling in translating it from Greek to English. Have this been the prose translation, I would’ve been bored with story. 

Why? Because I think that it’s simplistic, and idealistic to the point of silliness. Although I like the straightforward storytelling and I enjoy reading about Odysseus’s adversaries, I am detached from Odyssey’s many characters. That’s because they’re so unbelievable. Odysseus and Telemachus are too smart and too strong, and, added by frequent guidance from gods and goddesses, every obstacles are chicken feet to them. And then there is a pertaining sexism - it is unacceptable for Penelope, among other women characters, to have extramarital sex, but somehow Odysseus is encouraged to do it with nymphs, goddesses and emperor’s daughters. Oh-kay! Anyway, don’t get me wrong, I like Odyssey. I just can’t help feeling that if it is written on modern times, it definitely would be bust.

The reason I read James Joyce’s Ulysses after Odyssey is that Ulysses is supposedly a modern retelling of Odyssey, except it is inhabited by normal characters. Done to spite Odyssey? Who knows. It narrates a day in the life of, mainly, 3 Dubliners. Most of what they do, like debating, teaching, dining, meditating, and strolling, are pedestrian. My complaint is that there are too many scenes of dining out. At times they do not-so-ordinary things, like going to brothels, masturbating in public, having adulterous affairs, and visiting the hospital. They do those aforementioned deeds with considerable amount of musings, and these musings - which covers sexuality, atheism, pro and anti-Semitism, Irish society, among a plethora of other topics - are the gist of the book. Also, Ulysses parallels to Odyssey’s in numerous ways. Stephen Dedalus, for one, is Telemachus. Leopold Bloom is Odysseus. Molly Bloom is Penelope. A random citizen is the Cyclops. Then there are scenes reminiscent of Nestor’s unhelpful advices to Telemachus, or the sceneries of Circe, or the licentiousness of Calypso. Each chapter (of 17) has a counterpart from Odyssey, and it is fun seeing how they relate. 

I must’ve told you around a billion times how Ulysses is an arduous read. Although I have a good grasp of what happens, I admit I have often used a reader’s guide (a first), and even with that, I think I have understood only 70% of Ulysses. It is challenging because it is famous - infamous in some cases - for exploring every developments and nuances of the English language, and oftentimes breaking its rules. There are many made-up words, portmanteaus, and unfinished sentences. They’re all reflective of how words form on our thoughts. For such, James Joyce has been commended and has influenced many modernist/postmodernist writers to take more liberties with languages. I wouldn’t be surprised if Anthony Burgess (of the Clockwork Orange fame) is inspired by Joyce.

I regret saying this, but I can only cautiously recommend Ulysses. I recognize that it’s a remarkable achievement; at the same time, I’m certain that you need a love for words to truly understand its appeal. Otherwise it will be nothing but an unreadable cranial intrusion. I’d also like to warn you that a lot of Ulysses fans are snotty and snobbish. If you intend to try Ulysses out just to deal with them, and so that you officially declare that you can validly gather with some egomaniacs to celebrate Bloomsday, go crazy! I mean, Ulysses is a penis-enlargement pill for these intellectumals. Personally, I think approaching Ulysses on its own merits and not for bragging rights is always a better choice, but I don’t have any theory to back that up. So what can I say, Ulysses has a stigma of elitism. If that description does not turn you away from wanting to read the book, then do pick it up. I’ll be interested to discuss it with you.