I’m Hopelessly Clueless

May 7, 2008

So I was at the coffee shop last Friday, and at the next seat and facing me was this pretty girl. So she was alone for a long time, and so was I. And she seemed to be just looking around. So there was me, that was Nightdreamer, and I could hear my chest pumping louder than the coffee blenders of this shop. What did I do? I freaking wrote about her! I wrote about how she had a laughter that my memory would associate as the sound of euphoria. I wrote about how her smile felt like the kind of unrestrained grinning I get when I feel good about my achievements (of which there aren’t many). I wrote about all those cheesy poetry crap that wouldn’t be very out of place when sung by glib musicians trying to pander to teenage girls. You know, these were really productive as opposed to taking initiative and attempting to talk to her.

And then a while ago I got on a bus, and then this pretty lady also got on a bus. So she was wearing a really low cut top. So there was me, that was Nightdreamer, and I can’t decide what was worse: my limited grasp of fashion terminologies, or my tendency to give my eyes secret detours to her… her eyes! We even had eye contact once, and all the time we were shoulder-to-shoulder. And for some reasons she looked at my direction so much I became self-conscious. What did I do? Why, I watched the TV and laughed wryly about this poor kid who was wishing for the president to do something to our country’s education. Because, it’s so important that I evoke a wiseass image! Oh dear!

People who have only been with me in my college days will say "preposterous" after hearing this, but I’m very shy around women. And you know what’s funny? I didn’t use to be like this. I used to be confident, and I wouldn’t hesitate to approach those gorgeous women who are coming down along the road, just to say hi. So I really don’t know why I’ve become so shy around women ever since I’ve graduated. It is true. It’s like after I’ve removed my toga, I’ve also left behind my extroverted self, and have become introverted since then. And this was almost three years ago. Right now, I’m utterly clueless when it comes to trying to open up to one hot mamma that happens to be around the area.

I mean, how exactly do I introduce myself to someone that I find attractive, in ways that would make her remember me, and with her having a lasting positive impressions of me? I’ve always bothered myself with those questions, by my, perhaps, naive notion of if I am to know a girl that girl should definitely keep in touch with me, as opposed to us just delighting in each other’s company today, and then forgetting each other tomorrow. So, idealistic expectations aside, I really want to know how to do the things cool guys can do to last long in the conscious part of a woman’s mind. How do I start? Do I ask something so arbitrary as "do you have a blog?" and then follow that with "I have one, and it’s the Nightdreamer, and it’s sort of cool when the author puts some effort on his writing (not true in this post), and the author also sorts of dig you". Or what? Help!

Posted by nightdreamer at 9:28 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

Drink beer. You’ll be confident.

Kiddin’. :D

Posted by J at May 7, 2008, 10:35 pm

we all have our moments. I bet that pretty lady across the room was also thinking of some way to make you go to her(i’m betting the part where she wants you to notice her was already accomplished). I think we all have this wierd “fantasy” of how we would meet someone, in a chick-flick worthy kind of scenario. you’ll find your mojo back

Posted by ndreamer_dreamer at May 8, 2008, 8:41 am

Andra, why are you posting under a name so similar to mine?

Posted by nightdreamer at May 8, 2008, 9:02 am

preposterous nga! haha :)

i remember you were pretty confident in approaching girls back in college.

Posted by steph at May 8, 2008, 9:59 am

Why, hello there Steph! Haven’t heard from you for quite some time.

And yes, it’s silly, isn’t it? I don’t know what’s happening to me.

Posted by nightdreamer at May 8, 2008, 10:02 am

unahin ko na muna sabihin ‘to: yiheeeee!
——
too bad i’m not of the ‘cool guy’ image. no advice here, kris. just drink alcohol… that’ll warm you up.:P

in a coffee shop, if she’s alone, ask if she’s waiting for someone and if not, ask if she fancies a chat and sit down. at a bar, send a round of drinks (if she’s with friends). well, that’s what i’ve read that generally works. :)

DISCLAIMER: i haven’t tried any of them. so why would you trust me? :D haha

one thing i tried though. since she was a schoolmate, i’d bring her bread everyday and eat it with her during breaks. :)

Posted by dhey at May 8, 2008, 11:54 am

Dear dhey, that advice is all sorts of cool! Wish I could use it, really. ^_^

Posted by nightdreamer at May 8, 2008, 11:56 am

Ah sorry I have absolutely no useful advice to offer. =]

Re your being veg since you were born: How cool is that! I’m guessing your parents are veg too? What prompted them to make the change? Have you ever tried meat out of curiosity?

Posted by Aurus at May 8, 2008, 1:39 pm

I’ve tried meat once, and immediately got sick. I guess my stomach’s not used to it.
My parents are vegetarians too. As to what made them change, it’s animal compassion.

Posted by nightdreamer at May 8, 2008, 2:06 pm

Didn’t know you’re veg. I love veggies too. I love Philippine vegetable dishes like chapsuy, laing and pinakbet.

But I also love meat.

Especially raw ground beef with raw egg yolk sprinkled with sesame seed. Yummy.

You should try it once. :D

(Lol, I know. I’m not making any sense and my comment is off topic now, but what the heck :D )

Posted by J at May 9, 2008, 10:02 pm

rules are pretty simple dont be a total wuss . have a good sense of humor ,take a deep breath and be yourself :-) goodluck man!

Posted by Finch at May 10, 2008, 10:22 am

Did your mom get a lot of flak from relatives about how vegetarian pregnancies are “supposedly” unhealthy? When you were younger, did you ever feel left out when you saw other kids eating meat?

Posted by Aurus at May 12, 2008, 9:00 am

“Did your mom get a lot of flak from relatives about how vegetarian pregnancies are “supposedly” unhealthy?”

No. My relatives are supportive of the vegetarian lifestyle. Some of them even became one.

“When you were younger, did you ever feel left out when you saw other kids eating meat?”

Even as a child, I’m not the kind of person who easily get affected with how people think of me, but I do accept constructive criticisms. Vegetarianism is, however, something I’ve been very adamant about since I was a child, and no amount of tempting was able to get me even remotely interested in changing my diet. I did, however, get prejudiced upon then, especially since back then only a few were aware of what vegetarianism is all about.

Posted by nightdreamer at May 12, 2008, 9:07 am

Good for you guys. I get support from my immediate family, but it’s more of a reluctant kind, and it took them a while to get there. I appreciate their support, but if it were more solid, it would be much better.

My relatives are worse! Just recently my grandmother was like, you’ll never find a husband (being vegetarian)! Hmm. OK. Like I’ll change for a guy. And who said I was getting married?

Sorry for the mini rant. It’s just so frustrating sometimes. I can go on and on about the stupid things I’ve heard people say about the vegetarian lifestyle… But I won’t want to flood your comments.

Posted by Aurus at May 13, 2008, 11:00 am

Eh, do tell. I want to hear more.

Posted by nightdreamer at May 13, 2008, 11:05 am

Well, if you insist.

- “Vegetarian ka? Ano yan, every day o me araw na kakain ka ng meat?”

- “Dapat di na inaalam yan (animal cruelty) para makakain (ng meat)!”

- “Mmm, beef.” (Trying to tempt me.)

- “Di ka tatagal (sa pagiging vegetarian)!”

- “Konte lang naman, grabe ka!” (On bits of dead cows mixed in with the rice.)

- “Vegetarian ka? Di ka ba nanghihina?”

- “Pumayat ka. Baka kelangan mo na kumain ng meat.” (I didn’t actually lose weight.)

- “Vegetarian din ako, pero morning hanggang 12 noon lang. Di pa kasi kaya ng katawan ko, kelangan ko ng chicken at fish. Matagal na akong vegetarian.” And later, “Di ako sanay sa gulay.”

Plus the common misconceptions that vegetarians are stick-thin and sickly.

Hmm that’s all I can recall for now. If you want to read more (not just mine), Veggieboards has a thread called “Stupid things omnivores say”. Some are funny, others just make you want to pull your hair out.

Posted by Aurus at May 14, 2008, 3:20 pm

Interestingly, it’s this kind of conversation that should be struck upon lonely looking, pretentious and pretty girls alone in coffee shops no?

Sadly, science dictates that strangers have only 8 seconds to make an impression. How can you find that spark in such short a time?

Cool, another coincident captcha. The word is ‘nudge’. I am liking your captcha. :D

Posted by P.Ty at May 17, 2008, 9:09 am

I dunno why, but the captcha of i.ph are hilarious at times.

Oh, and something might happen next monday. I’m keeping fingers crossed.

Posted by nightdreamer at May 17, 2008, 9:47 am

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