Huh?!

I think I need to get a life.

Harharhar? Harharhar. I can totally hear it, my haters laughing diabolically and shouting "YOU SAID IT! I TOTALLY AGREE FOR THE FIRST TIME WE AGREE AND GUESS WHAT EVEN IN AGREEMENT I’M PATRONIZING YOU!" Yeah, well, shut yer trap.

Disclaimer 1: I’m not sure I have haters

Disclaimer 2: And I’m not sure I know of anyone who speak in all caps and without pronunciation.

But anyway, I just want to dive into the psyche of someone who might be my enemy. I don’t have a lot of enemy. Except maybe some random trolls from the message board communities where I am active. There’s this one, actually, from i.ph’s forum. His name is doink, which from now on I will consider as the name of anyone who hates me. I don’t really consider doink an enemy because I don’t feel remotely threatened when doink’s around, but doink could be someone who dislikes me. So imagine if I’m doink who reminds me of clown who then reminds me of a bunch of psychotic people with creepy looking noses. Imagine if he or she - does not have to be a guy - harbors ill will towards me. What would a doink want to tell me?

"Nightdreamer, I just hate how freaking styoopiz you act! You post your blog with a certain swagger, with a certain devil-may-care attitude, that I find obnoxiously obnoxious! You cook up a lot of metaphors and think it will amuse people! I hate you! I’d like you more if you post more pictures of women showing their breasts, but you absolutely have no sense of humor, criticizing hollywood movies, slating Paolo Coelho, disliking Harry Potter, always overthinking about stuff! You never write about things everyone else is writing about! You’re such a nonconformist suckass! You make absolutely zero sense! Your debating skills is like that of Rambo! You never flood your blog posts with pictures of teh funniez! You don’t have enough lolcat pics! You don’t even joke at all! You smell like spit! You $#@@@$$$ and ((%#@#%%# but still !@#%%#$@#$@# like #$%!@$@#$ you @#! You pander to giggling women with your retarded bluesy love posts! You post too many pure text blogs! You’re too skeptic about blogging! You never recommend other sites to visit other than videogame sites! You should blog more about politics and Che Guevarra! You’re racist, classist, ageist, sexist, animalist, plantist, clownist, nudist, fafaist, bigotist, rapist, assist, sophomorist, sandlerist and ipis! You never know how to sit back and enjoy watching porn! You’re an asswiping cynic! I hate you, and I’m totally lacking sleep because you never blog about me! You have zero sense! You hear that? ZERO! You think you’re clever?! YOU ARE NOT!"

*doink stomps feet as if wanting to destroy the planet* 

…

Point taken. I do need to get a life.

DIsclaimer 3: I really don’t want to know what someone like doink would be like.

Dewey-Eyed

Yesterday was a bit tiring, but it was the good kind of tiring. Nighttime, a Zamboangan family who our family consider as friends came to my place to visit.

Things were pretty typical. My mom and their mom were comparing notes on how they cook (they’re both fantastic cooks as far as I’m concerned), and we had a dinner with dumplings as the main course and some fresh watermelons as desserts. Those sure were scrumptious.

This family also have a 5-year-old daughter, named Tisha, and she kept bugging me when I was doing my chores, like doing the dishes, cleaning the table, and wiping Buddha statues.

While I was wiping the statues, she kept looking at me and asked: 

tisha: What are you doing, brother?
nightdreamer: I’m bathing Maitreya.
tisha: But why are you doing that? 
nightdreamer: He needs to be clean too. You don’t like taking a bath?
tisha: No! It’s a chore!
nightdreamer: But if you don’t do it you’ll stink the entire day, do you know?
tisha: Yiii, stink! Do not want! 

She kept following me even as I was at my own room organizing my stuff. And she saw that in my room there were 3 shelves where I display all my toys, like Transformer robots, anime figurines, animal figurines and toy cars the size of a matchbox.

tisha: Toys?! You’re still a kid!
nightdreamer: Oh yes, I’ve always been a kid.
tisha: But you’re not a kid!
nightdreamer: I am! I’m, like, only 5 years old!
tisha: No, you’re not!
nightdreamer: Yes, I am.
tisha: No! You’re 1000 years old!
nightdreamer: Hah, how could I be that old! I’d be dead when I become 1000!
tisha: Then you’re 100!
nightdreamer: Do I look like a 100 year old guy to you?
tisha: Yes you do.
nightdreamer: No I don’t. I’m 5, I tell you!
tisha: Fine, you’re 7!

And then I laughed.