A Week In Taiwan, Part 3: Snippings

Some points of observations and some snippets of the things that happened when I was in Taiwan…

* Monday I was forced to stay home today because there’s supposedly a typhoon, and the government suspends works and classes even on the slightest hints of typhoon. Zoos, museums, schools, government-owned establishments and concert halls were all shut down. That sucked, because I was to watch a show today at National Taiwan Hall.

If I were studying in this country, and then there was supposed to be a midterm exam that I wasn’t prepared for, and then suddenly at the very last minute of yesterday I received an announcement of class suspension, I’d “yay!” and then make today another day of pretending to review my lessons. But I don’t study in Taiwan. I don’t even work here. I’m a tourist! And I was being deprived of ways to fill my wanderlust.

We decided to take Synergy (see: previous post) to the places that remained open for business. First we went to Xinyi District, and then to Shimenting. To compensate for their cancelled performance of this day (yeah, they were the ones who were performing in National Concert Hall) they sang on both places. They were able to delight quite a few passersby, including news reporters from Taiwan TV, and then a Siberian husky and its owner. This Siberian husky barked when a song Synergy sang ended, as though responding to the music. You want to hear something incredibly moronic? The news reporter interviewed the owner of this Siberian husky instead of the choir it was responding to. What kind of priority was that? Apparently, in Taiwan, you can get 15 minutes of fame by being the owner of a dog!

Taiwan news is the stupidest thing ever known to man, and that’s a scary thought considering how many stupid things man knows.

* Inside of Taipei 101 (the world’s tallest skyscraper) is a clothing shop called Dolce and Gabbana. Their products are so overwhelmingly expensive: a jacket costs 4000 US Dollars. Who in the world has the money for that stuff anyway?

Its dressing room is supercool because mirrors surround it. When you take pictures in there, this is what comes out:

* Wednesday I have nothing but admiration to all of our tour guides, because they were deeply supportive to everyone. One of them, Perlette, is also a vegetarian, like my sister and me. Last Sunday, as she was ordering dinner for everyone, she remembered to choose the foods that all three of us can eat. It was her treat. She’s sweet like that.

So this Wednesday while on the way to the venue of the concert, I saw a vegetarian restaurant. I wanted to act gentlemanly to my sister and to Perlette, so I sneaked my way there. I so lovingly handpicked the best-tasting foods and paid for all of them with my own money. Once I was done buying the foods I was so happy and smug about doing nice deeds that I swaggered back to our concert hall’s lobby. It was then when I was told something that made me want to fall to the ground: Perlette also bought all 3 of us foods. My flight of knightly fancy was all in vain. Bah!

* The tour guides and I took some members of the Synergy to the Feng Chia Night Market in Taichung. Accompanying three Synergy members, I took a taxi. The driver, a person who did not speak English and thus needed me as his translator, was star-struck by those Americans. He kept asking me who these people are, and then he kept telling me about the history of Taichung, and then he started to tell me about how hard his life as a taxi driver was. Some time during this conversation (though it was more of a monologue, since all I did was say “yeah” ad nauseum) those guys started to make some ear-splitting chicken noises. So, the taxi sounded like this:

“You know the standard BOK (chicken noise) of living now is so BOK high BOK-KOK. Gas prices BOK are BOK soaring BOK-KOK (taxi driver pauses briefly). Yeah (my response) BOK Tell them I wish I could BOK go to Utah BOK-KOK to visit them. BOOOOOOK”

It went on like this for the next twenty minutes, and then to them I eventually shouted, “What the hell, guys!” I was laughed at.

* Benjamin loved the Chinese language. Someone told me that, while flying to Taiwan, he would ask some Chinese passengers about how to speak certain words. He even had a speech translated to Chinese so that he could deliver it onstage without needing a translator. He loved practicing that speech so much he eventually memorized his lines and delivered them effortlessly.

I love it when people of other countries are curious of the languages from where I am (Philippines and Taiwan, in my case). It’s a sign that people are taking the rudimentary steps to accepting a culture different to their own. In a very sad way, Ben is more interested in Chinese than some of my Filipino-Chinese friends, who do not even bother to learn Chinese and treat it like it’s a pointless language. No language ever has to be put up with being called pointless, especially by the people born to speak it.

* Thursday As I was doing my laundry, a guy came near me. This guy looked very much like Barry, who is our tour guide. Unlike Barry, he looked quite angry. He even treated his washing machine with much violence, slamming the lid as loudly as he could. All along I was wondering if anyone pissed on his cornflakes, which would’ve been sad, because at 1 AM this was too long a time to cry over pissed cornflakes. He got issues, indeed.

Apparently I wasn’t the only one who saw the Barry look-alike. On the next day, Lindsay told everyone that she thought this same wuss-pant was Barry. Because she liked teasing Barry, she kept calling his name aloud and commenting irreverently on what he’s wearing, as he was wearing only swimming trunks. When she realized she wasn’t talking to Barry but to a lookalike (doppelganger?), she went back to her room embarrassed, and then laughed inside like a loon (that’s according to her anyway). I imagine this must’ve been what angered the guy.

* Friday The concert in the park was over. I saw Jesse hovering around and I remembered him liking passion fruit juice, so I bought him a tetra pack of passion fruit juice. From there on I realized that I can be nice to the rest of them by buying each of them fruit juices. So I got a lot tetra packs of cranberry, grapes, apple, peach, passion fruit and orange juices. Giving them to the guys earned me thanks, but when I started giving them to the girls I was being hugged.

You know, you Asian girls should learn from that! I got a hug from these people by giving them a third-of-a-dollar worth of fruit juices; I can give the most expensive gifts to girls from Philippines and Taiwan and I still do not get any thanks! Where is the love, people?

* Saturday Somebody just pissed me off. I was inside National Taiwan Hall having dinner with all the stars that came to perform here this week. There was a waitress serving fruit juices. Being thirsty, I went to her to get a cup of fruit juice. She ignored me for more than five seconds, serving everyone else who came in later than I did and was not even in front of her. And when I finally spoke out about wanting a drink, she served me my drink without even looking at me.

Don’t you just love it when you’re being given such a poor service? I wasn’t asking to be treated like a VIP, but I didn’t need to be treated as an invisible man either, eh? It’s amazing how parties can winnow the people who keep it real from those who are fake and pretentious.

* Sunday It was way past midnight now and in only a few hours we will be departing from Taiwan. Every one of us was inside one room recollecting all of what happened. Tears were shed and hugs were given. All of the tourist guides were given a time to speak about what they’ve felt.

My speech sucked! I felt so stupid. I wanted to say something that’ll move everyone, but instead I got laughed at by saying that I was such a shy person who wanted to hide behind curtains. And then the rest of my speech was so full of incomplete thoughts, which, when you think about it, sort of resembles life.

* The foods that the Americans like are dumplings, meat buns, yakult, slurpee, man tou, and some of Taiwan’s indigenous fruits.

The foods that the Americans can’t stand are the stinky tofu, and the green beans ice popsicle.

* I miss them so. I wonder if they’ll ever come to the Philippines.