Cokeandcomics and I

cokeandcomics: i’m reading your post

cokeandcomics: the one about your neighbor

nightdreamer: aah. nightdreamer: my neighbor sucks.
cokeandcomics: he sounds weird
cokeandcomics: and unlikable
nightdreamer: he is weird
nightdreamer: and unlikable
cokeandcomics: what did you ever do to him?
nightdreamer: i’ve never done anything to him.
cokeandcomics: huh
cokeandcomics: he’s a jerk then
nightdreamer: totally.
cokeandcomics: an asshole
cokeandcomics: heheheh!
nightdreamer: his mom is kindhearted though.
cokeandcomics: have u tried asking him what his problem is?
nightdreamer: why would i want to do that?
nightdreamer: it’s his issues, not mine.
cokeandcomics: i see
cokeandcomics: its a shame since you were friends when you were kids
nightdreamer: i find that most of the time when i ask someone what his/her problem is, he/she becomes confrontational.
cokeandcomics: i see
nightdreamer: it’s probably some denial thing.
nightdreamer: oh well. he’s just a dang jerk.
nightdreamer: there’s one girl from the same building where i live in who is really hot though.
nightdreamer: although i live way above her.
nightdreamer: so i haven’t really bothered to talk to her.
cokeandcomics: oh cool!
nightdreamer: coz i don’t know what to say, actually.
cokeandcomics: well its up to you how you’re gonna make the first move
nightdreamer: she lives too near the first floor that even when we’re taking the same elevator there ain’t much time to converse anyway.
cokeandcomics: hmmmm
cokeandcomics: well you can find out first if she has a boyfriend
nightdreamer: how?
cokeandcomics: i find that single ladies are more game to converse with people
nightdreamer: “hi, my name is nighty. do you have a boyfriend?”
cokeandcomics: no no
nightdreamer: haha kidding
cokeandcomics: search the usual… friendster, facebook, multiply
nightdreamer: i don’t know her name.
cokeandcomics: ah…
nightdreamer: maybe it’s just, i find her attractive but at the same time i’m not interested enough.
cokeandcomics: i see
cokeandcomics: its up to you
cokeandcomics: i know the feeling
cokeandcomics: but it should be easier to strike a conversation since you’re in the same building
cokeandcomics: i mean she should have seen you a couple of times already
cokeandcomics: you’re not a total stranger
nightdreamer: yeah. maybe.
nightdreamer: though really, we don’t bump into each other very often.
nightdreamer: although these past two days we did get into the same elevator
nightdreamer: but before that i haven’t seen her in months.
cokeandcomics: there you go!
nightdreamer: i guess i just don’t pay much attention when i’m at my building
cokeandcomics: time the schedule
cokeandcomics: estimate or something
nightdreamer: i’m often grumpy when i’m at the elevator. so many kids misbehavin’. hahaha.
cokeandcomics: well not in the elvator maybe
cokeandcomics: cause there’s other people
cokeandcomics: i dunno….
nightdreamer: well of course. if there wasn’t anyone else i’d be the one misbehavin’

cokeandcomics: hahahaha!

cokeandcomics: if its just you two then thats the best scenario
cokeandcomics: to start talking
nightdreamer: i think you should blog those stuff!
cokeandcomics: no haha c’mon
nightdreamer: cnc the ladykiller!
nightdreamer: the cnc method!
cokeandcomics: there is no cnc method
cokeandcomics: hahhaah
cokeandcomics: its just easy to shell out advice
nightdreamer: i’m sure you’re popular.
cokeandcomics: but when it comes to the real thing, it’s different
nightdreamer: i’m sure you’re being talked about in Embassy
nightdreamer: they are like,
nightdreamer: “omg did you read cokeandcomics’ newest blog updates? they hit me deep like sex!”
nightdreamer: [interesting simile]
cokeandcomics: hahaha
cokeandcomics: its up to you, nighty
nightdreamer: yeah, it is
cokeandcomics: you know the building better than me,

nightdreamer: i’m old enough to decide!
nightdreamer: i have transformers too!
cokeandcomics: hehe!
cokeandcomics: hahaha
cokeandcomics: figure out more or less her schedule and make your move when there’s an opening
nightdreamer: t-that sounds really erotic.

cokeandcomics: hahahaha
cokeandcomics: whoops
cokeandcomics: i didnt mean it that way
nightdreamer: i’ll ask her, ‘hey you wanna play mortal kombat vs dc universe? i have it at home!’
cokeandcomics: really????
nightdreamer: i don’t have yet actually.
nightdreamer: i’m just makin stuff up
nightdreamer: but i’m sure she’ll find it cool to play mk vs dc
cokeandcomics: yes!
nightdreamer: and then i’ll tell her she’s like wonder woman
nightdreamer: full of wonder.
nightdreamer: [blech!]
cokeandcomics: thats actually not a bad idea
cokeandcomics: i could use that actually hehe
cokeandcomics: nah sorry
cokeandcomics: actually maybe not
nightdreamer: and she kisses like sonya blade: it brings fire!
cokeandcomics: ho ho!
cokeandcomics: the cornier the better
nightdreamer: hahaha
cokeandcomics: i think girls go for corny lines
nightdreamer: nah, i doubt that.
cokeandcomics: depends
nightdreamer: but i’ll be sure to tell her than when she looks away i feel frozen like a man iced by sub zero!
nightdreamer: she makes me feel like superman
cokeandcomics: stop it
nightdreamer: omg i am killing myself with my own corniness.
cokeandcomics: stop talking
cokeandcomics: hahahahah
nightdreamer: i hope i make her feel like catwoman; i hope i make her go MEOW.

nightdreamer: i’ll harpoon her and say “GET OVER HERE!”

cokeandcomics: the sonya one’s actually good
cokeandcomics: “wow your kiss brings fire”
nightdreamer: well too bad there aint no heart ripping kano fatality in mk vs dc coz i could’ve used that, “when you’re mad my heart feels like that!”
cokeandcomics: hahaha
nightdreamer: “you’re like raiden - you course electricty through my spine!”
nightdreamer: ok, enough.
nightdreamer: hahaha
cokeandcomics: i cant believe you just came up with those just now
nightdreamer: hahaha i can’t believe it either *facepalms*

A Fan Mail to Hollywood

Hello, Holly. I got a not-horrifying word from thehorrorgeek that your guy, Steven Spielberg, is remaking Oldboy, which is a manga that a Park Chan Wook film is based on. Having seen the Korean film, I cannot fathom how Will Smith is fit to play its vindictive protagonist, but whatever, right? Anything with Smith sells, and since this is just a remake, you’re earning with least amount of effort – all you need is his one-liners and some Adobe Aftereffects, and, viola, next day you’re swimming in a pool of cash!

But I’m worried about your tendency to remake anything that has made five bucks; I’m worried because someday you might run out of things to remake. Oh no! What will you do when that happens?!

I have a suggestion that you’re free to abuse, so that you can keep partying, pouring crystals, and ignoring those who suffer from the global financial crisis. Am I asking you to write original screenplays? Heck, no, that’s boring! Instead, amalgamate! Patch two (or more) movies together to make one! They’re economical, and as long as you choose the good combinations, nobody’s gonna accuse you for lacking creativity – after all, did anyone complain that You Don’t Mess with the Zohan is Borat plus every Adam Sandler movies ever made? No! Nobody did! And it grossed some millions too, so who cares if anyone griped? Anyway, don’t think too hard on this; I’ll even pitch in some examples so you can just use them - and no royalties required either coz I’m so benevolent for you!

Bolt-E

Titular dog thinks he’s a superhero even after the world has been deserted. Hello, box office!

Harry Potter and the Golden Army

After defeating Voldemort, Harry Potter sets out to live among Muggles, only to find that Muggles resent his kind. So he’s instead assigned to Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, a top-secret government organization that deals with supernatural affairs. Meanwhile, one angry elfenkind is on the loose, using his mad swording skillz to slay everyone in his way, in search of an artifact that will awaken the Golden Army, a horde of unstoppable golems.

Oh and no part of the movie will there be a subtext about Dumbledore’s homosexuality, but he will say he’s gay in an extra scene after the end credits.

You Don’t Mess with the Chuck and Larry

Adam Sandler is an Israel super-spy who would rather be a hair stylist, but to be one he has to pretend to be gay! Plug the Rob Schnieder cameos and the requisite hot girl (who in reality won’t ever be caught appeasing these jock types), and you have a film that will make Sandler-heads feel more “cultured” while the armchair critics groan.

Hairspray Mia!

The Corny Collins Show, a daily afternoon sing-and-dance TV show, only lets black folks perform once a month. Tracy Turnblad upstages a beauty pageant by starting a civil rights protest to integrate the black and the white performers together. ABBA’s songs are sung, decreasing the funk and soulfulness by a million times. (Don’t worry, oldies will love the nostalgia trip; just remember to ban Gen X’ers and beyond from watching this, lest they go on a murderous rampage.)

Kung Fu Panda Escapes 2 Africa

Jack Black, I’m sorry, the Panda goes to Africa and meets up with a lion, a zebra, a hippo and a giraffe. They toss a bunch of pop culture references. Viewers will love the gags and then completely forget what they just saw.

Indiana Jones & the Forbidden Kingdom

The fanboy’s ultimate dream come true, a battle royal of Harrison Ford, Jackie Chan and Jet Li explodes while they search for some super corny artifacts. Later, they learn that even at their most uninspired, they can act better than Shia Labeouf (who will no doubt say “no no no no”), so they band together to kick that misfit’s butt.

Quantum of Twilight

Never has James Bond’s life been more at stake than when he’s up against an immortal adversary, in this case a vampire. Complicating things further, he has inadvertently fallen in love with a girl who is the vampire’s romantic interest. Whose side are you on: of the tech geek or of the shrieking fangirls?

(Heck, if you really want to reach the arthouse crowd, you can make 100 Quanta of Solicitude and have it be about a fictional town in Columbia where a family of secret agents all named Jaime Buendia resides.)

Spider Ranger

This video says it all: