Taiwan Thingy

…but I don’t want you to think that everything has been gloomy in my weeklong Taiwan trip.

One of my younger cousins could at least carry on a decent conversation with me, or at least how much my limited grasp of Chinese permitted for decent conversations. As another confession - it’s in vogue lately, last I checked - I’m not really the best Chinese speaker you’ll encounter. I speak English a lot better than Chinese, and since my English is already clumsy, just imagine how much worse my Chinese is (I’ve never read a Chinese book from start to finish; the farthest I’ve gone was finish entire volumes of Chinese translated manga, like Ruruoni Kenshin and Slam Dunk). Anyway, back to that cousin. Having never been to the Philippines, she asked about how it’s like here. I told her about the weather, which can go as hot as 37 degree centi-grate-on-my-nerves. I also told her that you can buy firearms in some malls. She was shocked beyond imagining. I guess Taiwanese have their life way smoother than here, though it’s still funny how some people there whine about how their country is ultra-dire.

Also, a Taiwan citizen will receive cash coupons worth $100. My family received $400, and I used that money to buy my mom an ASUS Eee PC, and then to buy myself a few mangas and computer books. Btw, there are way too many computer books in Taiwan, more than in USA, and cheaper too. The only caveat is that they’re mostly in Traditional Chinese. I’m bummed by that, but I did eventually buy a few of those Chinese computer books to motivate me to polish my Chinese while simultaneously learning Illustrator and CSS.

The one thing I’m much bummed about with coming back to Manila is with how monotonous the sceneries here are. Every-freaking-where, I only see identikit malls. The bookstores are not big enough, and there aren’t as much computer shops here as there are in Taiwan (plus the technology lags, despite being pricier. That’s understandable, though, since Taiwan is one of the leading manufacturers of computer technologies. Acer, ASUS and BENQ are just some examples of companies from here). At least in Taipei, there are more things to do, like going to museums that actually have visitors in it, or to parks that actually give you senses of serenity. And if I grow tired of Taipei anyway, and crave for a more nature, I can always take the train. For just an hour, I’d already be by the mountainside or the riverside or both. In Manila, there’s no way to go to the mountains or beaches without using up more than 3 hours of travel time, much thanks to our lousy transportations.

With all these said, I’m going to put aside thoughts about my Taiwan days for now. Carpe diem, I hope.

Worlds Apart

My head’s still dazed from my trip to Taiwan, which has already ended for 5 days. I guess this happens because seeing the differences of the culture here (in the Philippines) and there can be a bit of a sensory overload.

I guess I never wrote this part about myself in any of my blog posts, but I’m a Taiwan citizen who has lived here in the Philippines for more than 20 years. Though most of my friends here are Filipinos or part-Filipinos, my parents are Taiwanese immigrants born and raised in Taiwan. Growing up this way, I’ve often been confused by the clash of ideals stemming from Filipino and Taiwanese culture, and by the not knowing of which one I prefer. As a result, I’m chronically laden with crises of identity, and somehow I’m a bit resigned to believing that I’ll never really belong to either, so I get my inner peace by observing their cultures’ strengths and weaknesses.

My father and his siblings (along with their spouses, so that includes my mom) have for long lived apart, but few days ago they returned to their hometown in Shuangshi, Taiwan. Some of their children - me included - also went to that place, but I only saw all (my father side’s) cousins on the day of my grandfather’s funeral. The last time I saw all of them together was also the first time I ever saw all of them together, and that was 3 years ago when it was my grandmother’s funeral.

It is funny how in all of my 25 years, I’ve only seen some of my cousins twice, even if the youngest among them are already on the fifth grade. I couldn’t even recognize some of them (as an aside, I actually have a friend who was on a similar situation, and it led him to having this awkward monologue: “Hey, [he/she] is cute! Wait, WHAT?! That’s my cousin?!?!?”). I was already 22 when I was first called 哥哥 (“ke-ke”, the Chinese word for “big brother”) by anyone related to me by blood. As of now, I’ve only been called that twice, despite having 5 younger cousins (and 4 older ones). It’s kinda obvious how much of a stranger I am to them.

Every time my older cousins open their mouth, they talk about work, such as how they get paid enough to own secondhand cars and apartments in the suburbs. What was really disheartening was their reluctance to connect with me on a personal level; instead the vibes I get from them is more like that of two job applicants haughtily comparing resumes - whatever happened to kinship? And maybe this is just my foible, but I could not bear watching them being so workaholic when the situation wasn’t calling for it: my cousins left our hometown - if they’ve even visited - immediately after the funeral was over. The same thing happened after my grandmother’s funeral, and some of them never came to visit in the interlude between the passing of grandma and grandpa. For goodness sake, my grandparents took care of them back in the days, and this is the homage they receive?

Yet this is the microcosm of what typically happens in Taiwan’s households. I see parents working the extra mile to secure brighter futures for their children, and I see children become ungrateful youths who can’t even be bothered to go out with their parents. Outside of Chinese New Year (that’s today, by the way) you won’t see Taiwan youths together with their parents. In some cases, it is already considered an achievement if they visit their parents a day a year. I once heard from my uncle that in the past 10 years, he saw my father, who lives in a different country, more often than his own daughter, who lives an hour of train ride away.

Whenever I’m in Taiwan, I’m happy to see that even people of lower-income ranges can enjoy much of the privileges that their elites enjoy, yet I grieve for the disconnect of the old and the young. In the Philippines, I’m glad that most people keep their families close, but I’m disgusted by seeing our elites living the “first-world” life while the proletariats become homeless. That gap between Taiwanese generations is the same gap between Filipino social classes. I do not know which one I prefer; hence, I just watch behind fences.