Nightdreamer’s Guide to New York City: Getting Started

There are only a few other places in the world that requires as little introduction as New York City (NYC). We see it in media, especially movies, all the time. It’s one of the world’s most popular travel destinations, and people everywhere dream of setting foot here.

So imagine yourself holding a flight ticket to JFK International Airport (or any of the other two airports of NYC) and you’re bent to get the essential “NYC Experience”, but you don’t know how to achieve it or don’t know what “NYC Experience” actually means besides it being a phrase hipsters or posers habitually throws around. You can always buy travel guides, but they’re often expensive, and even if they tell you everything, they do it impersonally you don’t get very encouraged read them. What you need, of course, is someone who tells you where to go in a more relaxed, and more story-like manner, because that way you will remember what he says. That someone is me. Okay, so all that talk about travel guide is half-baked tripe, but I need a good intro, so there. Anyway, if you come here looking for travel or survival tips, keep reading.

 The real bird’s eye view of New York City

Yep, I just spent my previous two weeks there, in case you’ve been lying awake at night wondering why I’ve stopped annoying you through Yahoo! Messenger. This is my second time being in NYC, and the first time I went there (back in 2005) I stayed for a month. That totals to 6 weeks of my life spent there, which is enough time to get a good grasp of Manhattan.

My target audiences for this blog post are Filipino and Taiwanese, although I hope that it will be useful for anyone, regardless of their place of origin, their gender, their alignment (even chaotic evils) and their BMI. Also, this guide will only cover Manhattan. I don’t know enough about Brooklyn, The Bronx, Queens and Staten Island yet to write guides about them. One last thing to add is that I do not know the hotel rates because I lived in my sister’s apartment.

Preparation

Know the season of the time you’re staying in NYC. From September to March you need to wear layered clothing – more so from December to March. Spring has the most clement weather, but it is also the least exciting season to come to NYC (no autumn leaves, less festivals, no snow). As for summer (June to August) don’t hesitate to wear shorts and tanktops only (as long as you’re not wearing shorts and tanktops that you use as sleep wears). Believe me, a lot of people in NYC dress that way; the movies may make it look like all people ever wear there are suits and gowns, but unless you’re attending an occasion that calls for formal attires (such as weddings or UN seminars) you’d look like a wannabe, and people here, more than anywhere else, can see past your disguise. Don’t wear hooded jackets on summer, please. I just can’t count the number of times I’ve seen pictures of Pinoy tourists being anywhere in Europe or America while wearing over-layered attires at the wrong season. That’s a lot like having jackets on in the Philippines whenever you take a trip to a coffee shop; you may have other reasons, but essentially, you look like a poseur.

And if you’re a Taiwanese youth and have one of those sissy effeminate Jay Chou hairdos, please style your hair differently lest you want to look like a tourist, because Taiwanese residents in NYC will adapt to New Yorker’s fashion. By the way, I hate those hairdos. They’re just like emo hairdos in my book of “sure signs that someone is laughably lugubrious”.

You need to have more than enough money as well, by which I mean if you could only bring a hundred dollar with you, forget about going to NYC. Everything, from products and services, to the mandatory 10% tips and taxes, will cost a lot. That doesn’t mean you couldn’t buy cheap stuff in NYC though, as I will devote a section talking about the best places for those.

Lastly, neither I nor my writing has the clairvoyance to know the purpose and the length of your stay in NYC, but if possible, try to bring only the amount of baggage that you can carry or move around. There are pushcarts in the airports, but you have to pay a whopping $5 to use those. I fully support depriving greedy bastards the money they’re lusting, and you should too. Fight the power that be!

Getting In

Unless you live somewhere in US, the best way to get to NYC is by airplanes; if you live in US, that’s debatable. Let me tell you now that if you’re from anywhere in Asia, the trip to NYC will be very long, and displeasing. Flights from Taiwan to US take roughly 17 hours; a couple more if from Philippines. The plane flies to the west and crosses the Pacific Ocean, and often has a stopover somewhere on the west side of America.  By the time you reach NYC, you’ll be exhausted.

And I’m not just talking about exhaustion that comes with jetlag, but also from long periods of not taking a bath, of being in a cramped up space that long, of sitting until your butt hurts, of watching awful in-flight movies just to kill time, of climbing over other’s leg when going to the restroom (or having others climb over your leg), of hearing wails from babies you secretly wish you could throw out of the plane, etc. Treat the trip as a mini-hike, meaning you should come very prepared. Bring a pair of slippers and wear them when in a plane. Have earplugs so you could sleep comfortably. And you might as well carry an underwear and a pair of socks because those you’re wearing will eventually stink. Be considerate to other passengers by not eating too much lest you pass gases their way. I will emphasize the last one because I once sat beside a granny who farted so often, I suggested that instead of buying plane tickets, which can be expensive, she should’ve blasted herself airborne by farting all the way from Taiwan to New York. She gave me the stink eye, and then stank the cabin once more.

As a small alleviation to the tedium of the flight, make sure to choose the airline that you’re sure has a lot of attractive flight attendants. Which means forget taking Philippine Airline, unless you’ve got something for old women. China Airline, on the other hand, has the cutest stewardesses, a word you could type with your left hand while your right does something else, but flight turbulence occurs quite frequently. Eva Air also has stewardesses that make you feel like you’re in clouds, which is appropriate since planes usually fly inside clouds anyway. Female travelers, ignore this paragraph.

Once you’ve gotten off the plane and left your baggage at your hotel or any place of lodging, the first thing to do is to go to sleep. Forget doing anything else for the day (besides eating and pooping), just go sleep and recover from your jet lag. Your body clock will need to be tuned in with NYC’s time zone. If you’re having a hard time sleeping, just cry yourself to sleep out of regret of not getting your favorite stewardess’s e-mail address.

Getting Around: Get a Metrocard

You’re probably reasonably well-to-do enough if you could come to NYC and have more than a hundred dollars with you, but don’t be a spoiled sucker by using the cab as your only mode of transit. Its minimum fare is $2.50, without the mandatory 10% tip. Take the cab only as your last resort, like when you’re in a hurry to meet someone and there’s no way taking the bus or the subway will get you there on time (then again, how would cab?), unless you really enjoy striking a conversation with cab drivers (in which case you should’ve opted to come/stay in the Philippines, where you can hear drivels that must’ve been borrowed from AM Radio hosts).

Instead, go to your nearest subway station and go buy a Metrocard, which is a card that you’ll be swiping if you’re taking the subway trains or the buses. Various types of Metrocard exist, but you’ll need the Unlimited Ride ones if you’ve come to NYC as a tourist (because you’re going to travel around a lot, duh!). Then head to the token booth and get a subway map, which is free. Lastly, you might want to go to any magazine stall and buy NYC’s city map.

Subway

The subway stations date as far back as, I think, the early 1900’s, and as for their appearances, nothing much seems to have changed. It even feels like it’s taken a hundred years since the last time any cleaning has been done. The mild way of saying this is that subway stations   have an exotic smell. Simply put, they’re sticky and gross. Yet, despite the appearance of the contrary, subway stations are safe and they’re the most convenient and affordable way to get around in NYC. Just get used to the dirty look and you’ll be fine.

Next: tourist spots